An Apology (not)
This ISMS web site is dedicated to recording the humorous side of failed attempts to speak proper English - and we make no apology for that. However, we do acknowledge that English is not easy an easy language to master - even for the locals - and we offer the following as proof:
- After falling off the rough bough I developed a nasty cough!
- I thought it was going to be tough to plough the rough ground.
- I carved out a rough trough.
- A seamstress and her sewer fell into the sewer pipe.
- Which witch was it?
- A randy buck does funny things when does are present.
- One goose, 2 geese. One moose, why not 2 meese?
- One tooth, 2 teeth. One booth, why not 2 beeth?
- I was too close to the door to close it properly.
- There was a row among the row of oarsmen about how to row.
- The insurance policy was invalid for the invalid.
- A bas-relief of a bass was painted on the base of the bass drum.
- Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
- He deserted his dessert in the desert.
- He was promised he could take the lead if he could get the lead out of the pencil.
- We must apply more polish the Polish furniture.
- The dump was so full that it had to refuse further refuse.
- His farm was used to produce produce.
- The bandage was wound round the wound.
- When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
- The wind was too strong to wind up the sail.
- After a number of injections my jaw got number.
- You must have seen a few ewe?
- Upon seeing the tear in his trousers, he shed a tear.
- The man bowed to the audience and bowed his violin as he watched the rainbow over the bow of the ship.
Got any more examples? Let us know by email.
