At last the great day had arrived - a real turnaround for the books! I'd already tasted the other side of the coin too many times. But now, the ISMS once a year annual Gala Dinner and Conference was about to begin, here and now. A Gala dinner on the Thursday evening followed by a full day conference on the Friday.
The esteemed ISMS Gala Dinner guests are listed on this website, as is the ISMS Gala dinner menu which is based on many of the erotic dishes discovered by ISMS members. Guests began arriving by late afternoon on the Thursday. Tim was hovering around the reception desk recording the guests' arrival; give him a camcorder and her thinks he's Stephen Spiegelberger - he'd already been to the pharmacy to buy a few packets of Kodacolour black and white file.
Colonel and Mrs Strapp arrived at about four in the afternoon; they're such a devoted couple they'll probably outlive each other. I went over to greet the Colonel and congratulate him on publishing his autobiography - which, incidentally, contains a little antidote about someone we know. We chatted briefly but I could see that he wanted to get off to his room to prepare for the gala dinner. He looked really tired, like he'd slept like a dog last night.
As other guests started to arrive I drifted on into the bar, where a few members were already knocking back the champagne as though it was going out of style - ah well, a seagull in the hand is worth two in the groyne. When I came across old Bill Brown hiding away in a corner of the bar I had him leap-frogged out of the hotel; his membership had been null and devoid for at least a year. He was the one that 'told tales out of school' about the eating habits of one of our members who is also a medic at the local hospital. I can still see the headlines now: "Surgeon suspended over a bowl of soup!". I got really annoyed with Bill and completely lost my bat. I'll let the bean out of the bag and drop a few stories about him to the local newspaper; he'll find that it's different when the boot's in the other court - it's entirely a horse of a different kettle of fish! I love it when the upper hand is on the other foot.
"Todger" Bailey rolled into the bar looking decidedly dishevelled and he was bleeding like a stuffed pig. He's been on one of the hotel's shore excretions and for no apparent reason had decided to walk back through the hotel's animal wildlife park. Apparently he'd been chased for about half a mile by a pack of wolves. He was obviously distressed and was babbling on "The dogs, the dogs, they were......they were...... just like .......animals!" We gave him some valiant tablets and he soon calmed down. A few members ran to the windows to see if they could spot any wildlife. Sure enough there were a few wolves in the compound; they'll have liked the weather recently because we've had more snow than you can shake a stick at.
"Ooooh, look," said Charlie "the little ones are ginormous! And look, over there, is it a bird or just a duck? Oooooh and that one is full of the beans of Spring!" I left them to it, the conversation was becoming a load of gobble-de-book!
Back in the hotel reception area the manager informed me that the majority of the guests had arrived and were in their rooms getting ready for the gala dinner.
