// Author:The Chairman & Chief Executive
// isms.org.uk
// isms2002@btinternet.com
// last update April 2010

quotes=899;
ism=new Array(quotes);
auth = new Array(quotes);
ism[0] = "Examples from the ism database";
ism[1] = "ism #3: An inch-and-a-half-pound hammer";
ism[2] = "ism #10: The Renault 12 has a refinery";
ism[3] = "ism #15: We were up to the kneeballs in snow";
ism[4] = "ism #20: He had four GCEs and five CSSDs";
ism[5] = "ism #23: They'll be giving prisoners five-poster beds next";
ism[6] = "ism #26: Our team should be self-independent";
ism[7] = "ism #27: A six-month-year-old-baby";
ism[8] = "ism #29: Attached at Appendicee A";
ism[9] = "ism #30: Let's draw up a matricee";
ism[10] = "ism #31: Hours of manput";
ism[11] = "ism #34: A heated rear number plate";
ism[12] = "ism #35: Stereo with double Dolby";
ism[13] = "ism #36: I wouldn't know her from Adam";
ism[14] = "ism #38: Have you got the 'Z to Y Street Guide'?";
ism[15] = "ism #46: Find out its alpha number";
ism[16] = "ism #49: That bonus scheme is unfinancially viable";
ism[17] = "ism #51: I hope the poisoned duck don't get the job";
ism[18] = "ism #57: A four floor storey building";
ism[19] = "ism #60: Six pelanty points";
ism[20] = "ism #61: Having a liquid drink";
ism[21] = "ism #62: Have you got any quabbles";
ism[22] = "ism #71: A six-monthly meeting every year";
ism[23] = "ism #73: I, myself, personally ......";
ism[24] = "ism #91: Of course that's not sancrosenkt";
ism[25] = "ism #95: A three-wheeled bicycle";
ism[26] = "ism #96: She just yabbles on";
ism[27] = "ism #97: He's been sexually raped";
ism[28] = "ism #99: Celtic strip .......... green and white striped hoops";
ism[29] = "ism #100: We don't get paid ........in fact, we do it for free";
ism[30] = "ism #103: Crockery will be centrally dishwashed";
ism[31] = "ism #107: It may happen in the recent future";
ism[32] = "ism #119: We can't have people just poddling about";
ism[33] = "ism #120: Ninety-nine times out of ten";
ism[34] = "ism #121: Double the answer by six";
ism[35] = "ism #123: A one-armed band machine";
ism[36] = "ism #126: The FA cup and league triple";
ism[37] = "ism #127: She was here two weeks tomorrow ago";
ism[38] = "ism #137: We'll have to iron out the qwerps";
ism[39] = "ism #138: He was saved at the twelfth hour";
ism[40] = "ism #141: He'll just pack the bus to us";
ism[41] = "ism #143: A four floorey building";
ism[42] = "ism #145: He just sat about for two months ...... June, July and August";
ism[43] = "ism #153: I was taught to speak in capital letters";
ism[44] = "ism #155: Frank Bruno .......... the great white hope";
ism[45] = "ism #159: It had a three speed gearbox with a fifth gear";
ism[46] = "ism #162: A match by match commentary";
ism[47] = "ism #170: A nose-to-nose tail-back";
ism[48] = "ism #173: Mary Smith was his right hand man";
ism[49] = "ism #180: We've been sold a duck";
ism[50] = "ism #188: He's like the three L's .......... sick, lame and lazy";
ism[51] = "ism #191: But for the sterling help of the finance officer .......";
ism[52] = "ism #192: It's the current practice for electricians";
ism[53] = "ism #196: I've been trying to nobble her knees for years";
ism[54] = "ism #198: The floor cleaning team do splot cleaning";
ism[55] = "ism #199: My next door neighbour, three doors away";
ism[56] = "ism #204: Can I speak to Mr Worth or his counter-partner";
ism[57] = "ism #209: The NFIS ..........the national incentive financial scheme";
ism[58] = "ism #210: I think you think I'm under an apprehension";
ism[59] = "ism #215: You can't have either if or what";
ism[60] = "ism #222: The squeaky suspension was sprayed with UB40";
ism[61] = "ism #224: It's into the tunnel and all of the water's out";
ism[62] = "ism #232: As Quasimodo would say .....'You rang'";
ism[63] = "ism #233: All-day Thursday morning";
ism[64] = "ism #234: Ground coffee tea bags";
ism[65] = "ism #236: You can't post-applicate but you can post-apply";
ism[66] = "ism #237: It's a gross mis-fiddle";
ism[67] = "ism #238: Check it on a week-to-day basis";
ism[68] = "ism #241: There's only one word for it ........... Magic Darts";
ism[69] = "ism #242: Calculate the metric linear footage";
ism[70] = "ism #244: The Planner-Estimators will reconciliate";
ism[71] = "ism #245: We'll use it universally on a national basis";
ism[72] = "ism #247: The dis-assemble and re-mantle phases";
ism[73] = "ism #249: He was looking at his shadow in the mirror";
ism[74] = "ism #251: They're a run of the middle of the table team";
ism[75] = "ism #253: He was in and out like a yo-yo";
ism[76] = "ism #257: ..... with two copies forwarded back to us";
ism[77] = "ism #258: It was all hot press on the wireless today";
ism[78] = "ism #259: The crowd were standing on their heads clapping their hands";
ism[79] = "ism #277: That works out at two square minutes per letter";
ism[80] = "ism #278: A detached three-bedroomed semi";
ism[81] = "ism #279: She's just the middle-man";
ism[82] = "ism #281: The Computer Protection Act";
ism[83] = "ism #282: PCM ..... Process Quality Management";
ism[84] = "ism #295: He's as much use as a chocolate orange";
ism[85] = "ism #303: Let's do it annually ...... or at least once each year";
ism[86] = "ism #307: Working down the mines ..... you just get a pittance";
ism[87] = "ism #308: And prior to that ..... but at the same time";
ism[88] = "ism #309: They're now using square volume";
ism[89] = "ism #312: We'll be undertaking dummy runs in the neonatal department";
ism[90] = "ism #314: Mozart's piano concerto number 40 ..... one of his key works";
ism[91] = "ism #327: You have black coffee without milk, don't you?";
ism[92] = "ism #328: That issue is still fairly current at present";
ism[93] = "ism #335: I had nightmares every day";
ism[94] = "ism #338: He's got bald hair";
ism[95] = "ism #339: The paperwork system is based on traffic lights ..... white, green, yellow and dark pink";
ism[96] = "ism #340: I wrote to you earlier to say that I would be writing to you later";
ism[97] = "ism #343: This very good catering department should share its recipe for success";
ism[98] = "ism #344: Foot-care assistants have no hands-on experience";
ism[99] = "ism #346: We hope to derail the juggernaut";
ism[100] = "ism #347: She was a female actress";
ism[101] = "ism #348: Non-GP fundholding practices";
ism[102] = "ism #353: I don't want anything too florid or flowerful";
ism[103] = "ism #354: Who wants to qualify the accounts of an authority that doesn't exist";
ism[104] = "ism #356: That makes 7 ..... and if you double it you get 12 or 16";
ism[105] = "ism #357: The only jobs left to do on my list of outstanding jobs are the ones I've got left";
ism[106] = "ism #359: Taking foreign holidays abroad";
ism[107] = "ism #362: Half the football team will be decimated";
ism[108] = "ism #363: You should look at that with a barge pole";
ism[109] = "ism #367: It's from that Welsh authority ..... you know, the one in Wales";
ism[110] = "ism #368: We've had some teething problems with the mobile dental unit";
ism[111] = "ism #369: ..... plus an impatient population which is older and frailer .....";
ism[112] = "ism #370: They're going back because they can see it's the way forward";
ism[113] = "ism #372: So you got a mark of 68% ..... how many is that out of?";
ism[114] = "ism #375: We're now entering a second phase which follows the first";
ism[115] = "ism #376: He's got legs like the elephant man";
ism[116] = "ism #377: They've merged into two separate units";
ism[117] = "ism #380: You're putting the horse before the cart";
ism[118] = "ism #382: Some Councils have been doing that since the word dot";
ism[119] = "ism #384: Heads role in financial management";
ism[120] = "ism #386: You're all mouth and no talk";
ism[121] = "ism #387: There are three ways to do it ...... and never the twain shall meet";
ism[122] = "ism #388: It was a one-way dialogue";
ism[123] = "ism #390: If you find a shop that sell's one ..... but two or three";
ism[124] = "ism #395: Level peggle";
ism[125] = "ism #397: People don't realise that these young pupils are the children of the future";
ism[126] = "ism #398: The leaked documents were found in a cabinet ..... a Cabinet spokesman said ......";
ism[127] = "ism #400: Crystal Palace scored 25 goals in 25 games ..... it's virtually a goal a game";
ism[128] = "ism #401: Well, I read what you say, but .....";
ism[129] = "ism #403: Thank you for falling back .....";
ism[130] = "ism #404: The executives will get rich by putting their snouts in the gravy train";
ism[131] = "ism #406: You could hear the blue lights coming towards the hospital";
ism[132] = "ism #407: There should be a joint audit of toe and ankle injuries";
ism[133] = "ism #408: This drug problem is difficult to crack";
ism[134] = "ism #415: Come on referee, blow your watch";
ism[135] = "ism #416: Accopella ...... it's a type of singing without voices";
ism[136] = "ism #418: 50% internal staff and 50% unemployed ..... I thought it would be the other way around";
ism[137] = "ism #421: and because we had the highest majority ..........";
ism[138] = "ism #428: We'll introduce a performance managering system";
ism[139] = "ism #430: Mickey Gray, running down the left flannel";
ism[140] = "ism #433: We now need to expand along the riverside, it's one of our key (quay?) objectives";
ism[141] = "ism #436: With hindsight, you can always look back with hindsight";
ism[142] = "ism #440: They can speak English, both written and speaking";
ism[143] = "ism #446: The boss poured oil on me";
ism[144] = "ism #447: I'm not interested in the facts, just tell me what happened";
ism[145] = "ism #451: Nous retournerons l'annee derniere (we'll come back last year)";
ism[146] = "ism #452: Tony Blair's glasses were chosen by a 'focus' group";
ism[147] = "ism #454: It's a bit cumbersome and heavy-footed";
ism[148] = "ism #467: I'm an atheist, thank God";
ism[149] = "ism #468: Is cricket becoming a political football?";
ism[150] = "ism #470: Bolting the stable door after the horse has gone";
ism[151] = "ism #473: That should be in lower-case capitals";
ism[152] = "ism #475: We saw a real live dead pigeon";
ism[153] = "ism #476: The wheelchair patient tried to complain…….but he hadn't got a leg to stand on!";
ism[154] = "ism #477: You'd better keep your ears pierced for that one….!";
ism[155] = "ism #480: Going at it like a bull at a cow";
ism[156] = "ism #481: He's living hand to foot";
ism[157] = "ism #482: Sitting on the fence post again";
ism[158] = "ism #483: Make sure that every stone is unturned";
ism[159] = "ism #487: He went through the defence like a knife through hot butter";
ism[160] = "ism #488: While your working try to remember what we talked about tomorrow ";
ism[161] = "ism #492: Jumpin' Joseph is fat";
ism[162] = "ism #493: Six of one, dime a dozen";
ism[163] = "ism #494: Grappling with my own ghost";
ism[164] = "ism #495: The hat's on the other head";
ism[165] = "ism #496: Verification of death by nurses";
ism[166] = "ism #497: I'm having difficulty persuading my wife - she's not very perceptible";
ism[167] = "ism #499: I've just thrown a monkey into my wrench…..";
ism[168] = "ism #500: I like that song, who did you say it was by - the Elephant's Gerald? (Ella Fitzgerald)";
ism[169] = "ism #502: We get seven or eight calls a day to as many as none";
ism[170] = "ism #503: We need to verify the validity of these photographs";
ism[171] = "ism #504: He was hard to identify because he was wearing a hair wig";
ism[172] = "ism #507: Many people died in the inferno fire";
ism[173] = "ism #508: The shooter held himself up for hours in his apartment after the shooting";
ism[174] = "ism #512: The sun sets over that hill every morning";
ism[175] = "ism #513: The train has just landed…";
ism[176] = "ism #514: Everything I've used, I've already used up";
ism[177] = "ism #515: It's a dog's world and I'm wearing dog bone underwear";
ism[178] = "ism #517: There's no absolute way to be absolutely sure";
ism[179] = "ism #518: We had to do work last night, you know. In the middle of the dark.";
ism[180] = "ism #520: I'm accentuating some emphasis at a different angle";
ism[181] = "ism #521: She got 36 Valentimes from her classmates.";
ism[182] = "ism #524: I've had artichoke hearts but I've never had a real one";
ism[183] = "ism #527: They're having a 20/50 disco at the party";
ism[184] = "ism #528: The super hair product ….. Bryl-o-creem";
ism[185] = "ism #530: A crash claimed the life of a Lycoming county motorist for the second time in as many days";
ism[186] = "ism #531: PDAs - Palm top computers";
ism[187] = "ism #532: People between the age of 65 & 69 yrs are predicted to grow by 39% and between 70 & 74 yrs by 16% by 2006";
ism[188] = "ism #538: It probably definitely helps";
ism[189] = "ism #544: I've narrowed it down to a two square mile radius";
ism[190] = "ism #545: Sorry I can't meet you tomorrow as planned, something really important has cocked up";
ism[191] = "ism #549: The hijacker held up the plane using a toothpick";
ism[192] = "ism #550: I'll be 44½ on my next birthday";
ism[193] = "ism #551: My dog hasn't barked a word all week";
ism[194] = "ism #554: There's a time and a place for spontaneity";
ism[195] = "ism #555: Crazy paving isn't all it's cracked up to be";
ism[196] = "ism #557: She's had her Alsatian taken off her by the police. They might make a dog of it.";
ism[197] = "ism #560: There's nothing wrong with that ism really, except they got it the wrong way round";
ism[198] = "ism #568: You're about as much use as gills on a fish";
ism[199] = "ism #570: I can smell what you're going to tell me";
ism[200] = "ism #572: They're all wound up like tuning forks!";
ism[201] = "ism #573: Hello, this is Rochesters, can you give me an RTA for your delivery driver?";
ism[202] = "ism #575: We all have closets in our cupboard";
ism[203] = "ism #577: I forgot you could do that with your eyes folded";
ism[204] = "ism #578: They are just looking for an escape goat";
ism[205] = "ism #580: They are just looking for a lap donkey";
ism[206] = "ism #583: He wears his heart on his arm";
ism[207] = "ism #584: I'm on cloud 15";
ism[208] = "ism #585: They've moved the pitch (goal posts)";
ism[209] = "ism #591: I was really impressed with Figaro who plays for Real Madrid";
ism[210] = "ism #592: At Christmas time do turkeys have an apocalopolips";
ism[211] = "ism #594: On seeing a photograph of triplets: Are these three twins?";
ism[212] = "ism #595: I have something in the drainpipe";
ism[213] = "ism #600: I can't understand Riverdance when they sing in garlic";
ism[214] = "ism #603: It's like taking candy from a chicken";
ism[215] = "ism #605: That pub is too busy. They're like sardines round a honey pot";
ism[216] = "ism #606: I wouldn't trust him with a barge pole";
ism[217] = "ism #607: This room looks like a pig has hit it";
ism[218] = "ism #609: Stop lolly-gaggling about";
ism[219] = "ism #610: And if share prices go down, the storeholders won't be happy";
ism[220] = "ism #614: My daughter has got a lovely new kitchen from MI5";
ism[221] = "ism #615: You've got more luck than Hartley's";
ism[222] = "ism #616: Dinosaurs from China use Cathedral and Quay car park";
ism[223] = "ism #617: Go down to that bordello and buy some of that fruity red wine";
ism[224] = "ism #621: That's another feather to his bow";
ism[225] = "ism #624: It's a plain clothes police car";
ism[226] = "ism #625: She's a back street driver";
ism[227] = "ism #627: It's like the south side of the Eiger";
ism[228] = "ism #631: He's as dead as a doughnut";
ism[229] = "ism #636: We will be flying at 4am in the morning";
ism[230] = "ism #637: Well, it's not raining but it's thinking about trying";
ism[231] = "ism #641: He was like a pig in a 'tater shop";
ism[232] = "ism #642: If there were more people here this car park would be full";
ism[233] = "ism #648: Every Monday and Thursday he has meals on walls";
ism[234] = "ism #650: Would you like venision? No thanks, I've got a drink! It's deer! I don't care how much it is!";
ism[235] = "ism #652: I couldn't look him in the mirror";
ism[236] = "ism #653: Let's nip it in the butt!";
ism[237] = "ism #654: This gel is as sticky as that PVC glue!";
ism[238] = "ism #655: If he doesn't agree that will really upset the apple tart!";
ism[239] = "ism #656: Those trees are blocking out all of our privacy!";
ism[240] = "ism #660: It's the old case of the chicken and the mouse!";
ism[241] = "ism #662: He went as white as a beetroot!";
ism[242] = "ism #663: Gardening? ....... you should be well on getting your tumours planted!";
ism[243] = "ism #665: I'm expecting a steady stampede of buyers for the new Harry Potter Book!";
ism[244] = "ism #666: Stammerer sufferers are finding it increasingly difficult to talk to anyone about it!";
ism[245] = "ism #667: English of Journal Graduate sought!";
ism[246] = "ism #668: I don't want to be around when the flak hits the deck";
ism[247] = "ism #673: I'm caught between the Devil and a hard place";
ism[248] = "ism #676: It's as soft as claggy tarts";
ism[249] = "ism #678: Oh yes, I'll make sure he has the last laugh";
ism[250] = "ism #679: He should know the answer, he's Oxfordly educated";
ism[251] = "ism #680: I'm not Protestant, I'm Church of England";
ism[252] = "ism #681: She can't be a spinster, she's never been married";
ism[253] = "ism #682: He was watching the rising sun setting over the horizon";
ism[254] = "ism #684: He watched through his one-eyed telescope";
ism[255] = "ism #685: He ordered a fully cooked continental breakfast";
ism[256] = "ism #688: He obtained top secret files from MFI in London";
ism[257] = "ism #689: He does his weekly shopping every day";
ism[258] = "ism #690: And now for the shipping forecast: Dogger, Fisher, German Blight….";
ism[259] = "ism #691: (On the Asian dowry system…)  What? They have to keep a diary?";
ism[260] = "ism #692: He was like a red bull at a gate!";
ism[261] = "ism #693: I wouldn't fancy a motorbike but I wouldn't mind a sidecar";
ism[262] = "ism #696: We'd like to give the public more say on lottery donations, through tickboxing for example";
ism[263] = "ism #698: This only happens once in a blue flood";
ism[264] = "ism #699: You tell a bag of lies you do, and half of them aren't true";
ism[265] = "ism #704: Doctor Miriam Striphard";
ism[266] = "ism #705: This has been raised at the highest level, and it may go even higher";
ism[267] = "ism #706: He's just a male shoulderless pig!";
ism[268] = "ism #709: My wife's worried, she was pacing the walls last night";
ism[269] = "ism #710: You can hide, but you can't run";
ism[270] = "ism #712: His mother was keen to get him into rest bite";
ism[271] = "ism #713: Yes, of course, I'll watch him like a shark";
ism[272] = "ism #714: It's like the turtle and the rabbit in the race";
ism[273] = "ism #715: There is a distinct lackage of bar staff";
ism[274] = "ism #717: I need to change my watch back to Greenland Mean Time";
ism[275] = "ism #719: Softly, softly, careful monkey";
ism[276] = "ism #720: There's only one good bench left on this green and it's knackered!";
ism[277] = "ism #721: If he really wants to leave the club, I'm sure we can accommodate him";
ism[278] = "ism #722: Yes, there's cautious ecstasy here ……";
ism[279] = "ism #723: Talking about vasectomies….God, it hurt, I'll not do that again!";
ism[280] = "ism #726: Oh look, a heated radiator";
ism[281] = "ism #729: There were whales of laughter";
ism[282] = "ism #734: Welcome aboard flight [xxxx], we will be taking off momentarily...";
ism[283] = "ism #742: I had one tequilla and the world fell out of my bottom";
ism[284] = "ism #743: The Quite American";
ism[285] = "ism #744: The Italians will have their hands cut out tonight";
ism[286] = "ism #745: ...it was a savage attack. He went down under a positive fusilade of stab-wounds";
ism[287] = "ism #755: We should press for this emergency statue to be brought in ……";
ism[288] = "ism #757: There are delays between Admirality Arch junction and…..";
ism[289] = "ism #759: It'd be a sunny day if it wasn't for the clouds";
ism[290] = "ism #760: You never know your luck in the cowshed";
ism[291] = "ism #761: Well you know what thought did……..shit himself!";
ism[292] = "ism #763: We'll have peer-to-peer reviews";
ism[293] = "ism #766: She has so many frying pans in the fire at the moment";
ism[294] = "ism #769: He's got his hands knee-deep in burger mix";
ism[295] = "ism #770: Q:How much cheese do you want?     A:Oh, just use your excretion.";
ism[296] = "ism #771: Enemas, 50p a bunch";
ism[297] = "ism #772: That's pottle            (pot calling the kettle black)";
ism[298] = "ism #776: If brains were chocolate you wouldn't have enough to blow your hat off!";
ism[299] = "ism #777: Bin Laden should be easy to spot, he's the bloke in the turban";
ism[300] = "ism #778: Got myself a new shed, 8' by 1' I think?";
ism[301] = "ism #779: The market is like a game of golf, one pops up and someone else swings it back in the next bunker!";
ism[302] = "ism #780: Yeah, alcohol, it's a bit like ethanol really!";
ism[303] = "ism #781: Don't come running to me if you break your legs!";
ism[304] = "ism #783: (to tennants) Everyone shares the cost of rot in the common parts, but you pay for the rot in your own private parts";
ism[305] = "ism #788: I hate old people, they should be shot at birth";
ism[306] = "ism #789: Just thought I'd ring and put you in the background";
ism[307] = "ism #790: I was up 'til three o'clock this morning last night";
ism[308] = "ism #791: Q: Would you like a refund?  A: No, I'll just have my money back, thank you!";
ism[309] = "ism #794: There's a can in my bottle";
ism[310] = "ism #795: I hope he gets what he wants at the end of the crock of gold";
ism[311] = "ism #796: The pack of cards effect";
ism[312] = "ism #798: It's going to be a long job - like painting the Titanic";
ism[313] = "ism #799: Which of those items would you like to put into snowballs for a while?";
ism[314] = "ism #802: Is there anything you'd like to ask me while I've got all my fingertips?";
ism[315] = "ism #803: The 1989 Magna Carta celebrations will be held in the Abbey National. (Abbey Gardens)";
ism[316] = "ism #804: I don't want a day by day blow";
ism[317] = "ism #805: Head teacher on parents: They demand their ounce of flesh";
ism[318] = "ism #806: Running a school is as easy as ABC";
ism[319] = "ism #807: Q: How will you make this assembly on yo-yos last?  A: We'll spin it out!";
ism[320] = "ism #809: Q: Sorry, did you say something?  A: No, I was just talking out loud.";
ism[321] = "ism #810: Well, whatever floats your goat ....";
ism[322] = "ism #811: I'm not paranoid.....I've been watching them all morning!";
ism[323] = "ism #812: Embrace yourselves girls.....";
ism[324] = "ism #813: On another day we might have scored 5 or 6 goals today";
ism[325] = "ism #814: Q: Do you know Stuart's surname?   A: Stuart who?";
ism[326] = "ism #815: Their email server is down again!! I'm going to send them an e-mail to let them know!";
ism[327] = "ism #816: A seagull in the hand is worth two on the groyne";
ism[328] = "ism #818: I can read you like a bus";
ism[329] = "ism #825: Swing through the ball keeping your shoulder under your right chin";
ism[330] = "ism #826: Can we use DNA from the sperm sample to establish the sex of the offender?";
ism[331] = "ism #827: (On Paul Burrell's book) It would mortify our mother if she were alive today.";
ism[332] = "ism #830: Yes, they're a devoted couple - they'll probably outlive each other!";
ism[333] = "ism #832: If the cap fits, weigh it!";
ism[334] = "ism #833: When is this New Year's Eve Party happening?";
ism[335] = "ism #835: I haven't looked at it through a fine tooth comb";
ism[336] = "ism #839: What time did this clock stop?";
ism[337] = "ism #842: Sorry, I misunderheard you!";
ism[338] = "ism #844: Life is a big wheel, just when you think it's all over it comes back and bites you!";
ism[339] = "ism #845: At the end of the day, I come to work in the morning and go home at night!";
ism[340] = "ism #849: I'm really tired, I'll sleep like a dog tonight!";
ism[341] = "ism #850: He's at the last ditch hotel!";
ism[342] = "ism #857: Don't listen.....it's just tickle tackle!";
ism[343] = "ism #858: I fancy going to the wet and wildfowl park this afternoon!";
ism[344] = "ism #859: He's a bit lapsy daisy!";
ism[345] = "ism #860: I didn't like her attitude, she was a bit of a clever closet!";
ism[346] = "ism #861: He wouldn't say boo to a goo!";
ism[347] = "ism #863: He's uncoordinated when he runs.....all dangly!";
ism[348] = "ism #864: You would like that, it's right up your lane!";
ism[349] = "ism #866: Hey, John, what's Geordie Smith's first name?";
ism[350] = "ism #867: I had an early meeting, I had to be up at the crack of nails";
ism[351] = "ism #870: The coffee was quite arid!";
ism[352] = "ism #874: Don't go out and shoot the devil";
ism[353] = "ism #878: It's like milking teeth";
ism[354] = "ism #879: That platform is a blank canvas";
ism[355] = "ism #880: Critical thinking is, we're on a moving feast";
ism[356] = "ism #885: I got really, really annoyed and in the end I lost my bat";
ism[357] = "ism #890: The winter of 1846 was the worst in living memory!";
ism[358] = "ism #892: I laughed my eyes out";
ism[359] = "ism #893: I feel like I'm going round and round in a circus";
ism[360] = "ism #895: Ronnie O'Sullivan is the best thing that's happened to snooker since Tiger Woods!";
ism[361] = "ism #897: Let's prioritise that for later";
ism[362] = "ism #903: Surgeon suspended over a bowl of soup";
ism[363] = "ism #904: I work in a 365 days a week business";
ism[364] = "ism #906: If you do that again I'll shoot the little green boots off you";
ism[365] = "ism #915: He was pruning himself in the mirror";
ism[366] = "ism #916: They are far and few between";
ism[367] = "ism #918: There's a complete lack of indiscipline in the team";
ism[368] = "ism #919: He's had three attempts on goal and neither of them were any good";
ism[369] = "ism #920: We went off like a bag of prawns in the midday sun";
ism[370] = "ism #923: The dogs were... they were... just like... animals";
ism[371] = "ism #924: Move off the grass Tony, I want to hoover the lawn";
ism[372] = "ism #931: Rub a dub dub, three men in a toothpaste tube";
ism[373] = "ism #935: Italy are going to have to toss their natural ideas away and throw the kitchen sink at this!";
ism[374] = "ism #936: We were in white vehicles with leopard stripes on the sides";
ism[375] = "ism #937: The stationary (sic) store has moved to another location";
ism[376] = "ism #938: Oooh, look, the little ones are ginormous!";
ism[377] = "ism #939: Which is why you could hear eyebrows being raised by the opposition today!";
ism[378] = "ism #940: Juninho really took the ball by the horns today!";
ism[379] = "ism #947: Can I have a packet of Kodacolour black and white film.";
ism[380] = "ism #952: When I was very young, I was born.";
ism[381] = "ism #953: Is it a bird, or just a duck or something?";
ism[382] = "ism #954: Closed due to illness, sorry for any convenience.";
ism[383] = "ism #957: Don't eat with your mouth full!";
ism[384] = "ism #958: Don't talk with your mouth open!";
ism[385] = "ism #963: I owe a lot to my parents, especially my Mother and Father.";
ism[386] = "ism #964: It wasn't last time, it was the time after that!";
ism[387] = "ism #965: These plates weigh a fortune!";
ism[388] = "ism #968: Drive to the gas station as fast as you can, before we run out of petrol!";
ism[389] = "ism #969: How much big is your heart?";
ism[390] = "ism #970: She had a face like the back end of a slapped cow!";
ism[391] = "ism #971: Bargain! Buy now at this year's prices!";
ism[392] = "ism #972: My job now is to reduce the decifit!";
ism[393] = "ism #976: That looks like apples and pears. Look, there's a lemon and there's a plum.";
ism[394] = "ism #977: We need to cut to the chaff.";
ism[395] = "ism #984: Just remember the saying - cream never melts.";
ism[396] = "ism #988: How to kill a cat other than choke it with butter.";
ism[397] = "ism #989: It's like football - it's the rub of the green.";
ism[398] = "ism #991: I'm easy-easy-over like a boiled egg.";
ism[399] = "ism #992: It's a jar with a lid on it and you don't want people going off and redesigning wheels!";
ism[400] = "ism #993: They follow the eyes and dot the tees.";
ism[401] = "ism #996: You may hide, but you'll not be in.";
ism[402] = "ism #998: Did you see the weather yesterday? It was thundering and shooting sticks.";
ism[403] = "ism #999: We're in this bloody cleft stick again.";
ism[404] = "ism #1000: Local government - it's all loops within loops.";
ism[405] = "ism #1004: I acquired my three or four custodial watches at the weekend.";
ism[406] = "ism #1008: I wouldn't have got that in a million dollars!";
ism[407] = "ism #1009: I worked on that with half my hands tied up!";
ism[408] = "ism #1010: I don't want to be thought of as a one-joke-horse!";
ism[409] = "ism #1014: I can't do anything without something happening";
ism[410] = "ism #1015: I don't know what you think, I mean I was just talking out loud";
ism[411] = "ism #1016: I really want to get my coat on about this, and sort it out";
ism[412] = "ism #1017: This music is like water over my back";
ism[413] = "ism #1019: Well, that's stripping it down to the bones, once you've got the bones, what's left?";
ism[414] = "ism #1020: I can watch Hollyoaks until my eyes go numb";
ism[415] = "ism #1021: I left the nest even before I could walk";
ism[416] = "ism #1022: I like black - it's very monochrome";
ism[417] = "ism #1024: This is like pulling straws out of your backside!";
ism[418] = "ism #1026: She'll be all over you like a rash on a stick";
ism[419] = "ism #1028: Growing more and more infinite";
ism[420] = "ism #1029: I'll be driving home tonight, in the cold light of day, thinking about that decision";
ism[421] = "ism #1031: If I'm not in, I'll be out!";
ism[422] = "ism #1032: We four have got a quarter of pie each, but I've left a bit in case anyone wants some more!";
ism[423] = "ism #1033: I've got pies in so many fingers";
ism[424] = "ism #1036: .....even though we're getting off on a swansong!";
ism[425] = "ism #1038: His writing looked like he was well out of salts!";
ism[426] = "ism #1039: You would have liked her, she was a broiler chicken dressed up as a cockeral";
ism[427] = "ism #1042: I thought that might have exacerbated some little freudian quip";
ism[428] = "ism #1043: I can't play Mr. Devil's advocate!";
ism[429] = "ism #1044: I slipped into a real state of flux on ebay";
ism[430] = "ism #1046: I'd rather be hung for a pig, rather than a sheep.";
ism[431] = "ism #1049: Q: Have you got any AA batteries, Joyce?    A: No, but I might have some A4 ones!";
ism[432] = "ism #1050: Mateus Doumbe has not put a breath wrong this afternoon!";
ism[433] = "ism #1051: He made a complete dog's meal of that!";
ism[434] = "ism #1052: Just between these three walls, we're stuffed!";
ism[435] = "ism #1053: Ahh,  but it depends what you mean by semantics.";
ism[436] = "ism #1055: Let's look at the annual things that we do every year!";
ism[437] = "ism #1056: He said it through grated teeth!";
ism[438] = "ism #1059: They have developed a new ground breaking yacht!";
ism[439] = "ism #1063: I may sail close to the wind, but I never break it!";
ism[440] = "ism #1065: I let go more fish than I caught!";
ism[441] = "ism #1068: I would suggest that it's a barometer that we just feed things into.";
ism[442] = "ism #1069: It's like trying to talk to running sands round this place sometimes!";
ism[443] = "ism #1070: What am I supposed to do? Jump around like a headless camel?";
ism[444] = "ism #1071: This could well be Chinese whispers and I'm likely to miss the colon!";
ism[445] = "ism #1074: They have a very strong case in the water!";
ism[446] = "ism #1075: I hate not being in control of my own destination.";
ism[447] = "ism #1076: It's like putting a sail on the Titanic - everyone would just run off on tangents!";
ism[448] = "ism #1077: They're from D&G opticians, you know Dolland & Aitchison?";
ism[449] = "ism #1079: There were no tickets left, they've been selling like hot cross buns!";
ism[450] = "ism #1080: I went pitch white, I did!";
ism[451] = "ism #1081: I wonder how many chips there are in this bag of calories?";
ism[452] = "ism #1082: I gave birth to my kids one at a time!";
ism[453] = "ism #1083: She made the winning goal and her team won the game!";
ism[454] = "ism #1084: It sounds like hieroglyphics to me.";
ism[455] = "ism #1085: What you've got to remember is, a lot of football is played between the ears, you know, in the heart!";
ism[456] = "ism #1087: Natural mother pasted away due to a traffic accident.";
ism[457] = "ism #1089: He was old enough to be her grandfather, and her father's father. ";
ism[458] = "ism #1090: He was noted to use negative and fowl language!";
ism[459] = "ism #1091: He has exhibited uncontrollable episodes of anger management towards others.";
ism[460] = "ism #1092: She was arrested twice for assault and batter.";
ism[461] = "ism #1093: When asked if he liked his job, he replied, 'it brings in the ends meet.'";
ism[462] = "ism #1095: Q:What's one thing you wish was different about yourself: A:My intelligents.";
ism[463] = "ism #1096: I've being lying awake at night worrying about my insomnia.";
ism[464] = "ism #1097: Hang on, I'm literally getting into my drawer now!";
ism[465] = "ism #1098: Going to the dentist is like pulling teeth. ";
ism[466] = "ism #1099: Our Christmas traditions are different every year. ";
ism[467] = "ism #1100: Getting caught drinking and driving is a sobering experience. ";
ism[468] = "ism #1101: Jokes are just funny lies..... or truths. ";
ism[469] = "ism #1102: You're getting a new refurbished computer. ";
ism[470] = "ism #1103: Technically we're covered but are we covered technically. ";
ism[471] = "ism #1104: It'll rain or shine depending on the weather. ";
ism[472] = "ism #1105: My net pay is gross. ";
ism[473] = "ism #1106: Buying car parts is highway robbery. ";
ism[474] = "ism #1107: I'm addicted to one coffee a day. ";
ism[475] = "ism #1108: I'm not worried about market testing. We're hands and knees above the firms!";
ism[476] = "ism #1110: It's disgusting - I feel like burying them in their own mire.";
ism[477] = "ism #1111: She's gone off on her trolley.";
ism[478] = "ism #1112: My politics have always been very tender.";
ism[479] = "ism #1113: Gosh, one million pounds an hour…that's twenty-five million pounds a day.";
ism[480] = "ism #1114: We're wringing the cat to get the blood out.";
ism[481] = "ism #1118: I should be putting weight on by the gallon.";
ism[482] = "ism #1127: She’s malicious you know. Seems alright to me, dear. No, she’s from Malicious. Do you mean MAURITIUS? Yes, that’s right";
ism[483] = "ism #1128: Oh, Britain has won a Gold Medal in the Olympics. Really, dear, who was that? I don’t know but he comes from New South Wales";
ism[484] = "ism #1129: I quite like her now. I’ve grown on her";
ism[485] = "ism #1130: Well, if you ask me, that was just a white herring";
ism[486] = "ism #1133: Its a recipe in all the wrong directions.";
ism[487] = "ism #1139: How old was Dawn’s baby when it was born?";
ism[488] = "ism #1141: Does Big Brother really know what he or she is doing?";
ism[489] = "ism #1142: Gerry: When is my next appointment? Receptionist: I can't see it here. The Doctor must have written it down verbally!";
ism[490] = "ism #1144: #1:The Barbican is busy for a Thursday night!  #2:Steve, it's Friday!  #1:It's quiet then!";
ism[491] = "ism #1146: Patience comes to those who wait!";
ism[492] = "ism #1149: That would be Marilyn Monroe singing 'Happy Birthday Mr President' to KFC!";
ism[493] = "ism #1151: We are asking all employees to park on the exterior parameters of the parking lots by Burns Hall to accommodate the guests!";
ism[494] = "ism #1153: I'll just throw in the white flower, shall I?";
ism[495] = "ism #1154: We'll sell that bugger like a dose of hot salts!";
ism[496] = "ism #1155: He's a bright enough cuckoo to work at home and live the life of O'Reilly.";
ism[497] = "ism #1156: A mustard yellow sports jacket with a pin-square check on it.";
ism[498] = "ism #1157: They're both from the exact same school of pigeon-hole.";
ism[499] = "ism #1159: If I'm driving the Porsche, everybody clears the decks.";
ism[500] = "ism #1160: At the end of the day, this little forray finishes when I throw the gauntlet into the ashes.";
ism[501] = "ism #1161: Not paying us and not knowing why constitutes nothing less then a double entende.";
ism[502] = "ism #1162: I bought some stunning old jazz and country & western LP's at the car boot: Gerry Halliday and Ella Fitzberry.";
ism[503] = "ism #1164: I don't give a toss what you wear, you can even wear a 'pink-a-dot' bikini for all I care!";
ism[504] = "ism #1165: It was called a Tri-lander, you know, four rows of two seats.";
ism[505] = "ism #1169: I just wanted to make sure that we're all singing from the same hymn-speak.";
ism[506] = "ism #1170: It sounds like you've been clatter-banging with a jamborine.";
ism[507] = "ism #1171: Send them both down Mr Misery Lane.";
ism[508] = "ism #1172: Fievel: What's the job number? Ange: 1066. Fievel: Oh, 1066, the Fire of London.";
ism[509] = "ism #1173: That's a real hummer of a scheme. ";
ism[510] = "ism #1175: He's not gay, he shoots from the hip.";
ism[511] = "ism #1178: The planners have gone off to planet cloo-cloo land on this one.";
ism[512] = "ism #1180: He was going up and down like a dog at a fair.";
ism[513] = "ism #1181: I'm not even on the same roundabout as you.";
ism[514] = "ism #1182: Quack-off!";
ism[515] = "ism #1183: I couldn't care a what!";
ism[516] = "ism #1184: Braile, that's so the deaf can read";
ism[517] = "ism #1190: Dick Cheney is planning a whirlwind tour of the New Orleans area following last week’s hurricane ";
ism[518] = "ism #1194: It's getting really windy outside - it must be the calm before the storm!";
ism[519] = "ism #1195: He's spat out his toys again!";
ism[520] = "ism #1196: He's like a duck out of water' ... 'what, you mean flying?";
ism[521] = "ism #1198: Since our last match we have remained unbeaten!";
ism[522] = "ism #1199: Please please be very careful if you are heating water in the microwave …. It's very easy to scold yourself.";
ism[523] = "ism #1201: Keyhole surgery…you're in and out like a yo-yo. ";
ism[524] = "ism #1204: It's like asking for a bottle of Heinz ketchup and getting sent KP. ";
ism[525] = "ism #1205: Our profession is well nouned for fee quotes. ";
ism[526] = "ism #1207: It looks like something neither you or I have seen land on Mars since 1952. ";
ism[527] = "ism #1208: He didn't hit quite so many branches when he fell out of the 'brains' tree. ";
ism[528] = "ism #1209: It's water off a ducks head. ";
ism[529] = "ism #1210: Unless she's on wooden stilts like Mrs Neanderthal she won't see the hole. ";
ism[530] = "ism #1212: I must chase that one up before the mud hits the frying pan. ";
ism[531] = "ism #1213: Get a colour chart and throw a dart board at it, you'll come up with three or four options. ";
ism[532] = "ism #1215: Normally, if it's two pence in the street, that's too much for candy. ";
ism[533] = "ism #1216: It was bismarked below the waterline…it was a whole flotilla of cannonballs. ";
ism[534] = "ism #1218: He took so much criticism that in the end he had to take a bee in the bonnet. ";
ism[535] = "ism #1219: It’s a minister of defense site with some strange out-barn-buildings etc. ";
ism[536] = "ism #1221: I've got a masters degree in distinction of urbanity so I should know. ";
ism[537] = "ism #1224: I think I'm just going to have to make stuff up as I run along. ";
ism[538] = "ism #1227: Err…Earth calling planet Nuptune. ";
ism[539] = "ism #1229: More people than you can stick a shake at. ";
ism[540] = "ism #1231: I've completely lost my line of caught. ";
ism[541] = "ism #1232: They're not easy to get hold of anymore and when one is available it gets snapped up like hot dust. ";
ism[542] = "ism #1235: This one's grown like a topsy-turvy bean-shoot. ";
ism[543] = "ism #1236: We're proceeding at a slug's pace. ";
ism[544] = "ism #1237: I shall keep my ears peeled. ";
ism[545] = "ism #1238: I'll do you a quick sketch on the back of a thumbnail. ";
ism[546] = "ism #1239: Look at that little sausage dog, he's running with his legs!!";
ism[547] = "ism #1242: I can't be expected to pull a lawyer out of a rabbit";
ism[548] = "ism #1243: It's a moving goal-post feast....  ";
ism[549] = "ism #1245: We're open 365 days a year, 7 days a week!";
ism[550] = "ism #1247: Question: Name the only English league club that starts with 5 consonants? James Munden: A E I O U United!";
ism[551] = "ism #1250: On getting conversations started in hot countries: it was a good a way to break the water";
ism[552] = "ism #1252: These eyelashes are packed in paris. (pairs)";
ism[553] = "ism #1253: We are prepared to offer you a 5% disoc*nt!";
ism[554] = "ism #1254: NHS typos: Metal health, Leaning disabilities, Director of Pubic Health, Violet incidents, Healthy Loving Centre, Community Madwives";
ism[555] = "ism #1257: EYMS would like to thank passengers for their patients during these temporary changes";
ism[556] = "ism #1258: Listen to the dog! He is eating like an animal!'";
ism[557] = "ism #1260: #1: 'How much of the trip have we done?'    #2:'About a third'     #1:'Only three quarters left to do then!'";
ism[558] = "ism #1265: I was as white as a beetroot and I didn't know where to put my eyes.";
ism[559] = "ism #1266: We put our budgie in a birdary.";
ism[560] = "ism #1267: I've been running around like a yo-yo.";
ism[561] = "ism #1268: I've been jumping up and down like a fly, plucking air out of the ether.";
ism[562] = "ism #1269: The only way you can stop the other side scoring in rugby is through man-to-man marketing.";
ism[563] = "ism #1272: Nothing ventured, nothing lost.";
ism[564] = "ism #1274: This problem has now gotten out of hand, its like Pandora's mushroom.";
ism[565] = "ism #1280: His family has the headcold too, they've been going down like the flies.";
ism[566] = "ism #1282: Talking to you is like tying a rocket to a pidgeon's toe and throwing it back at a brick wall.";
ism[567] = "ism #1284: You blew the cat out of the market the other day.";
ism[568] = "ism #1287: I'm going now, if I'm not back in half an hour send out the cattlery.";
ism[569] = "ism #1288: He was struck in the ape of his back.";
ism[570] = "ism #1295: Its six of one and half a dozen of nothing.";
ism[571] = "ism #1296: His house was huge, it was like manor from heaven.";
ism[572] = "ism #1298: That's what you get when its designed by committee - a headless camel.";
ism[573] = "ism #1299: As the old saying goes - dodgy on your pins, cute as a cookie.";
ism[574] = "ism #1300: Oh, to be a camera on the wall.";
ism[575] = "ism #1302: He doesn't know what he's doing, he's a nutter, he's the wrong side of the question mark.";
ism[576] = "ism #1304: I've more holes in the wall than goudan cheese.";
ism[577] = "ism #1309: I'm about as far forward as a brick.";
ism[578] = "ism #1312: What do you call people who watch accidents - hoggers?";
ism[579] = "ism #1314: We all have a few elephants in the cupboard.";
ism[580] = "ism #1315: You pay for what you get.";
ism[581] = "ism #1316: They should get a 'quick-fix' divorce.";
ism[582] = "ism #1317: and then it came to me, out of the blind.";
ism[583] = "ism #1319: He's gone to Copenhagen for a stag-do…and you know what those dutch are like.";
ism[584] = "ism #1320: I am unconsciously aware of that.";
ism[585] = "ism #1323: That's gonna look like a right dog's breakfast.";
ism[586] = "ism #1325: My mum's going to give her old furniture away to homeless people.";
ism[587] = "ism #1330: The 'Duch and Duchess' don't always open their grounds up anymore.";
ism[588] = "ism #1331: Rubbing his face in the salt.";
ism[589] = "ism #1332: You can't look a gifthorse in the head.";
ism[590] = "ism #1333: I'll go before you throw your sandwiches out of the cot.";
ism[591] = "ism #1335: The 3D model allows you to wander around the building as if you were a helicopter.";
ism[592] = "ism #1336: Honestly, you talk to me sometimes as if I was the dog's donkey.";
ism[593] = "ism #1337: She was a hypnothist apparently, but who knows it could be all lu-lu.";
ism[594] = "ism #1341: You pay for what you get and you get for what you pay for.";
ism[595] = "ism #1342: They've gone down hill, like a bat out of hell.";
ism[596] = "ism #1343: I shall de-siphon the document and report back.";
ism[597] = "ism #1344: Now you're rubbing salt into the woods.";
ism[598] = "ism #1345: I just get it in the lip.";
ism[599] = "ism #1346: A photograph tells a thousand pictures.";
ism[600] = "ism #1348: We've got the bloody lot, there's even bats in our hornets.";
ism[601] = "ism #1350: I find myself perpetually chasing pumpkins when everyone only wants apples.";
ism[602] = "ism #1351: He's just like Harry Sugar, you know the boss of Armstrong.";
ism[603] = "ism #1352: I used to smoke like a fish.";
ism[604] = "ism #1354: He was chairman of the local RIBA sect, a real Hoo-La-Henry.";
ism[605] = "ism #1355: He was spot-on, he scored a direct bonsai.";
ism[606] = "ism #1356: It's vitally important that, having reached this stage, no-one lets go of the brick.";
ism[607] = "ism #1357: This duck is now en-route to being on-line.";
ism[608] = "ism #1358: I've just lifted my head above the barrel-pit.";
ism[609] = "ism #1359: So the whistle's been blown on the emperor's new clothes!";
ism[610] = "ism #1360: Question marks will have to be asked after that performance!";
ism[611] = "ism #1361: What did you do, wake up smelling the wrong coffee?";
ism[612] = "ism #1362: The ballpark is in your hands now. ";
ism[613] = "ism #1363: I’ll get to that some time in the FAR future (meaning near future) ";
ism[614] = "ism #1366: I'll be there in an observatory capacity";
ism[615] = "ism #1367: It's a bit of a loose cannonball in my mind at the moment";
ism[616] = "ism #1368: Following an intervention from Prince Charles, a British Yorkshireman has been released from a Pakistani jail.";
ism[617] = "ism #1369: The money raised for Children in Need from this area stands at one hundred and seventy three thousand pounds four hundred and eighty eight pence.";
ism[618] = "ism #1370: Can the Welsh derail the New Zealand steamroller?";
ism[619] = "ism #1372: Caution. Soup may become hot on heating!";
ism[620] = "ism #1374: (towards the end of a workshop) Well we're on the home front now…..";
ism[621] = "ism #1378: Nothing is impossible, but I think this project is!";
ism[622] = "ism #1380: He's spending money like a fish!";
ism[623] = "ism #1381: I might be stupid but at least I'm not an idiot, like you!";
ism[624] = "ism #1386: Words define me in this situation";
ism[625] = "ism #1387: He's got the ears of a cat";
ism[626] = "ism #1388: Can I run this through you sometime?";
ism[627] = "ism #1389: I'm electro-magnetically inept!";
ism[628] = "ism #1390: I'm not going to do all the dog work for you!";
ism[629] = "ism #1391: Nothing smacks to mind at the moment";
ism[630] = "ism #1392: I'm actually dictating the letter as I speak";
ism[631] = "ism #1393: He's just a one trick horse";
ism[632] = "ism #1394: We'll be alright, he knows Paris off by hand";
ism[633] = "ism #1395: He really gets up my goat!";
ism[634] = "ism #1396: They can't touch us … we're fire resistant";
ism[635] = "ism #1397: It's probably better if you speak to the horse's mouth";
ism[636] = "ism #1398: Let's have a look at that report because I think we need to push it further up Frank's agenda";
ism[637] = "ism #1400: It's not on my clock! (radar?)";
ism[638] = "ism #1404: They call him Teflon because oil doesn't stick to him";
ism[639] = "ism #1407: This meeting has allowed us to forge new bridges";
ism[640] = "ism #1408: We should keep focused and not move into tangenital areas.";
ism[641] = "ism #1411: He was as sharp as a box of ferrets";
ism[642] = "ism #1414: The assessment of children's needs is still in its infancy";
ism[643] = "ism #1416: The bonus scheme was a touch of a coin away from viability";
ism[644] = "ism #1419: That'll put us at the forefront of the vanguard";
ism[645] = "ism #1423: We're not comparing apples with apples here. We're not even comparing apples with desks. We're comparing two completely different things!";
ism[646] = "ism #1429: Have the pills taken due course and suspect?";
ism[647] = "ism #1430: He jumped out of the plane at 22,000 square feet.";
ism[648] = "ism #1432: He's as mad as a kite.";
ism[649] = "ism #1434: I don't know if I'm talking through my head or not.";
ism[650] = "ism #1439: I shall de-siphon the document and report back.";
ism[651] = "ism #1441: I was completely irated with her.";
ism[652] = "ism #1443: I won't be able to get that done until I get my shoes in line.";
ism[653] = "ism #1444: I'd give my right hand to sleep in the same bed as two blondes and a cat.";
ism[654] = "ism #1445: I'll go before you throw your sandwiches out of the cot.";
ism[655] = "ism #1448: I'm sneezing like a yo-yo.";
ism[656] = "ism #1449: It was really great how you managed to pull a magic hat out of the rabbit.";
ism[657] = "ism #1451: It's a home goal if we're batting against these boyz.";
ism[658] = "ism #1452: Its jet black and high dudgeon here!";
ism[659] = "ism #1458: Phoning you is like throwing a cup out of the window.";
ism[660] = "ism #1459: She nailed the menu without a notebook - she was on a vertical learning curve.";
ism[661] = "ism #1462: The 3D model allows you to wander around the building as if you were a helicopter.";
ism[662] = "ism #1464: This duck is now en-route to being on-line.";
ism[663] = "ism #1466: We've got the bloody lot, there's even bats in our hornets.";
ism[664] = "ism #1467: What the right hand giveth away, the left arm looseth.";
ism[665] = "ism #1468: You look panic-struck like a kangeroo's head.";
ism[666] = "ism #1470: You pay for what you get and you get for what you pay for.";
ism[667] = "ism #1474: It's on the west hand side of the Pennines.";
ism[668] = "ism #1475: I could hear it in the corner of my ear.";
ism[669] = "ism #1476: A letter is a benchmark in the sand.";
ism[670] = "ism #1486: So, the final score is 3-1. But 3-1 is not a reflection of the final score.";
ism[671] = "ism #1487: Rail travel is an area where we have established a track record over a number of years.";
ism[672] = "ism #1488: The development of the new pool is going swimmingly.";
ism[673] = "ism #1490: Tony likes to make things secure. He screws everything up.";
ism[674] = "ism #1497: Sommerfield moves into telepathic shopping? Sign above shop counter: 'ask us if there's anything you need'.";
ism[675] = "ism #1498: Talking about Newcastle United Football Club: 'They're a one team city.'";
ism[676] = "ism #1499: If I was a pig I'd be a bacon sandwich!";
ism[677] = "ism #1502: Suite: The Three Musketeers - I. Aramis; II. Athos; III. Porthos; IV. D'Artagnan ";
ism[678] = "ism #1504: Trumpet Voluntary - for younger players in Bb";
ism[679] = "ism #1509: Here's a message from Norman Woodman. That's a good Anglo Saxon name.";
ism[680] = "ism #1514: As Hull FC come onto the Wembley pitch they will see a sea of noise";
ism[681] = "ism #1518: The chef always presentates his food well";
ism[682] = "ism #1521: you should have seen Terry - he was like a man with no dogs";
ism[683] = "ism #1526: with all of these papers I feel like Churchill";
ism[684] = "ism #1527: we're all lined up against the wall waiting to jump off";
ism[685] = "ism #1528: all my eggs are up in the air at the same time and I don't know what the crack is";
ism[686] = "ism #1529: DC: did you have a good time?     KF: yes, apart from feeling yellow and black";
ism[687] = "ism #1533: we're making beans when we should be making peaches";
ism[688] = "ism #1534: you don't want to be paying brain surgeons when all they're doing is cutting nails";
ism[689] = "ism #1535: at least we're falling in the right puddles";
ism[690] = "ism #1536: I feel like that man with the wobbly walk";
ism[691] = "ism #1538: I've been knocking doors out of windows";
ism[692] = "ism #1539: a Scottish one with a tartan lid or a Welsh one with a cauliflower on it";
ism[693] = "ism #1541: I was full of doors and windows and was going to knock seven bells out of them but now I'll just wait till tomorrow";
ism[694] = "ism #1544: This shirt was designed for a monkey with arms down to its elbows";
ism[695] = "ism #1546: Speak up for the cameras";
ism[696] = "ism #1548: That's the problem when you come in here, the world and his oyster comes in too";
ism[697] = "ism #1549: I didn't have anything to drink last night, not even coca cola.... no I tell a lie it was doctor pepper";
ism[698] = "ism #1551: no we'll need that for November 7th..... bonfire night";
ism[699] = "ism #1553: as soft as ninepence";
ism[700] = "ism #1555: MH: I was expecting Tim actually.   TD: I am Tim!";
ism[701] = "ism #1556: too many peas in the pod";
ism[702] = "ism #1558: JC: is it snowing or raining? JW: whatever it is its coming down horizontally!";
ism[703] = "ism #1559: Anon: are you keeping well? KF: busy, madly busy.... trying to keep the bodies from the doors!";
ism[704] = "ism #1563: DS: there's a sign of a guilty conscience!    KF: that's why they don't give monkeys rifles!";
ism[705] = "ism #1570: I cut my onion up into rectangular squares";
ism[706] = "ism #1571: Good Friday falls on a Thursday this year doesn't it?";
ism[707] = "ism #1572: half the stuff that was there was missing";
ism[708] = "ism #1573: I've only seen it over the phone";
ism[709] = "ism #1574: its quite thick, you can see it by hand";
ism[710] = "ism #1577: she got 90 degree burns";
ism[711] = "ism #1579: We didn't underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought";
ism[712] = "ism #1584: I don't know if I have his current or his latest mobile number";
ism[713] = "ism #1585: who's locked the door open";
ism[714] = "ism #1586: are you watching that paint set?";
ism[715] = "ism #1588: Milton they are not going to hear what you are seeing";
ism[716] = "ism #1590: quarter past four and its nearly midnight";
ism[717] = "ism #1592: good afternoon, I think it's afternoon, that's if its reached that far north yet";
ism[718] = "ism #1593: MH: Neil, how's your memory?   NS: if it goes past tomorrow I'm hopeless!";
ism[719] = "ism #1594: I'll turn the sound up so you can see it";
ism[720] = "ism #1595: I don't have the projectory";
ism[721] = "ism #1600: its not through ignorance but a lack of knowledge";
ism[722] = "ism #1601: look, here's Yul Bremner coming in";
ism[723] = "ism #1602: spare me 10 minutes when you've got 5 minutes";
ism[724] = "ism #1604: if you read between the lines you can see what the bottom line is";
ism[725] = "ism #1605: it's ok to pay it but could you back date it into next year";
ism[726] = "ism #1606: its like night follows day and Monday follows Tuesday";
ism[727] = "ism #1607: BA: it smells like burning!   MH: yes it definitely sounds like a burning smell";
ism[728] = "ism #1608: I'm not worried about cars. as long as its got three wheels and goes in a straight line";
ism[729] = "ism #1613: it must be going to hit me yesterday";
ism[730] = "ism #1615: it will be busy in there as there will be nobody in there";
ism[731] = "ism #1616: it's like trying to pull a duck out of a hat";
ism[732] = "ism #1617: They are coming on November 7th, Bonfire Night";
ism[733] = "ism #1618: We worked all day last night";
ism[734] = "ism #1619: Val, this coffee is not chocolate, it's tea.";
ism[735] = "ism #1620: I heard it out of the corner of my eye.";
ism[736] = "ism #1621: I was on the drink 7 out of 5 days.";
ism[737] = "ism #1622: Angus to Neil: there is no point in offering you a cup of tea, you won't eat one.";
ism[738] = "ism #1623: don't worry if I 'hear' you nodding off";
ism[739] = "ism #1624: do you know it's 92 kilos from Prague to Dresden";
ism[740] = "ism #1625: it's a bit like a sheet of aluminium mesh but without the holes";
ism[741] = "ism #1626: we have lost Gibraltar to the Argentineans";
ism[742] = "ism #1627: They put those words (subtitles) on the bottom of the screen (telly), so people can hear better.";
ism[743] = "ism #1628: It's like a library in here, you can here the pound notes ticking over.";
ism[744] = "ism #1629: He was irate because he couldn't smoke in the stadium, as he is normally a forty fags a man day.";
ism[745] = "ism #1630: To NS while NS was looking on Autoroute for Nantes (in France), 'try looking near France'.";
ism[746] = "ism #1631: It will probably be sometime this year, February I think (it was 23rd April at the time of saying it).";
ism[747] = "ism #1633: NS: how many shelves has the 'three' shelf letter drying rack got? MB: four";
ism[748] = "ism #1634: Would you like a proper cup of coffee John, I am going to make a cup of tea.";
ism[749] = "ism #1636: It's all guess work, some of it.";
ism[750] = "ism #1637: it's that wet rain.";
ism[751] = "ism #1638: What do they build in the shipyards ? ";
ism[752] = "ism #1639: CD: I have found my pen!    KF: who put it there is the next answer.";
ism[753] = "ism #1640: There is no Iron in it, it's all Steel.";
ism[754] = "ism #1643: They said it could only have been 1 of 3 things, but it was none of them.";
ism[755] = "ism #1644: I have just found that form for you on my Laptop, I will print it off and email it to you.";
ism[756] = "ism #1645: They have a monthly medal, once a month every Friday.";
ism[757] = "ism #1646: I walked into the room and heard a deathly silence.";
ism[758] = "ism #1647: Looks like we're moving again, but possibly stopping still.";
ism[759] = "ism #1648: What colour Black do you want ?";
ism[760] = "ism #1652: There were two lasses from 'BHSBC' there.";
ism[761] = "ism #1653: The machine is all over the place it's in 3 halves.";
ism[762] = "ism #1654: It gives you something to do when you're doing something";
ism[763] = "ism #1655: Hair is dead as soon as it falls out of your hair.";
ism[764] = "ism #1657: Malcolm has got his hands in his head.";
ism[765] = "ism #1658: Have you not heard them blushing?";
ism[766] = "ism #1659: Well that's the answer to my answer.";
ism[767] = "ism #1660: I am not sure, but I know for a fact";
ism[768] = "ism #1661: I walked into the doctors, and I hadn't even gotten through the door, and I didn't say hello to me";
ism[769] = "ism #1662: Dave: You will have to use the Tyne 'Tunnel'.  LT: Is that the one that goes over the Tyne?";
ism[770] = "ism #1663: Look at the smile on his lugs.";
ism[771] = "ism #1664: I looked everywhere on the 'S' Drive, except the 'S' Drive.";
ism[772] = "ism #1666: There are 3 different numbers the same.";
ism[773] = "ism #1667: Who sang, white knights in white satin?";
ism[774] = "ism #1670: I may be calm on the outside, but inside I'm like a swan with mad feet.";
ism[775] = "ism #1671: Committees end up designing camels - and this is a camel with a capital K.";
ism[776] = "ism #1672: It's an object lesson in turning a sow's purse into a silk ear.";
ism[777] = "ism #1675: I'm prepared to meet him nose-to-nose.";
ism[778] = "ism #1677: Why don't people do as they're told - I'm fed up of being the mother-duck.";
ism[779] = "ism #1679: It's a mixed-race school, you know, boys and girls.";
ism[780] = "ism #1681: Count your lucky marbles.";
ism[781] = "ism #1687: We don't want to bury our heads in the hatchet.";
ism[782] = "ism #1689: What time did that clock stop? (Pointing at a clock on the rugby club bar wall)";
ism[783] = "ism #1690: I suddenly heard the footprints creeping up behind me!";
ism[784] = "ism #1691: How can Scott Gibbs get picked for the British Lions... he's Welsh!";
ism[785] = "ism #1692: Well they weren't logs as such, they were more like trees with no branches!";
ism[786] = "ism #1693: watching rugby international England v Scotland in Alnwick, Northumberland, England. Q: 'why are the Alnwick players shouting for Scotland?' Steve: 'Well, they live closer to Scotland than they do England.' ";
ism[787] = "ism #1694: Darren: 'I'm sure it is something Monkeys'   Dave: 'Is it Snow patrol?'";
ism[788] = "ism #1695: That sounds like vegetable soup, infact, it sounds like chicken soup.";
ism[789] = "ism #1696: I got a great CD the other day, from Stake waterman.     (Stock, Aitken & Waterman)";
ism[790] = "ism #1697: It has got loads of Kylie and Jason Minogue on it.";
ism[791] = "ism #1699: The Conservatives have fallen by 18 points according to a Telegraph poll";
ism[792] = "ism #1700: He was a lovely dog, I potty trained him in a week";
ism[793] = "ism #1701: I know a fitness coach who takes Northsouthumberland";
ism[794] = "ism #1702: Apparently it's a lot colder up here, but I haven't seen it yet";
ism[795] = "ism #1703: Oh aye, Jean-Claude Van Damme, the Ballet Dancer";
ism[796] = "ism #1706: I will sing a line from Unchained Melody: 'I will always love you…...'";
ism[797] = "ism #1708: They are going to give a sit-down walk-though";
ism[798] = "ism #1709: Both of you three, come here.";
ism[799] = "ism #1710: I am sitting here listening to the 2 minutes silence.";
ism[800] = "ism #1711: Can you remember that programme, Horse & Fools";
ism[801] = "ism #1712: What is today's date tomorrow";
ism[802] = "ism #1713: I went to see my dentist last week, and he said that my feet are fine";
ism[803] = "ism #1714: Don't worry about it, it is something we might do in the past";
ism[804] = "ism #1715: I am off to Franky & Fred's office, no I mean Franky & Ged's, at least I got 3 of the letters right";
ism[805] = "ism #1719: Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream";
ism[806] = "ism #1720: I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully";
ism[807] = "ism #1721: It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it";
ism[808] = "ism #1722: Tailor-made resources... bespoke tools for the Induction of Labour and Osteoporosis";
ism[809] = "ism #1723: What's the matter, are you too scared to tell him, just incase you wake up dead?";
ism[810] = "ism #1724: I can't be bothered now, because I am on holiday tomorrow, I feel like it's my last day today. ";
ism[811] = "ism #1725: I think I will go to the replay if we win. ";
ism[812] = "ism #1726: Ah, look at her she is trying to cover her eyes with her face. ";
ism[813] = "ism #1727: I am going to make a cuppa now, before everyone is still speaking to me. ";
ism[814] = "ism #1728: Buddy Holly was on the other day singing, Splish, splash I was taking a splash. ";
ism[815] = "ism #1729: Was the patient smoking on admission";
ism[816] = "ism #1732: I am going to casualty this afternoon, to get the back removed from my spine.";
ism[817] = "ism #1733: Neil  (giving a clue to a singer's name): Burt is part of his first name.  Dave's reply: Ah, Humbleburt Dinklebink.";
ism[818] = "ism #1735: If it was seven foot, it was a day.";
ism[819] = "ism #1736: They have got that colour in Yellow as well.";
ism[820] = "ism #1737: These orange pills, do you want to take the Blue or the Red pill, in fact they're Orange.";
ism[821] = "ism #1738: Look on our website under 'frequently answered questions'";
ism[822] = "ism #1740: I've lost interest, this heads doing my job in.";
ism[823] = "ism #1742: There is a full Nelson and a whole Nelson.";
ism[824] = "ism #1743: If I sit in his seat and stand around doing nothing for ages.";
ism[825] = "ism #1744: Two rights don't make a wrong.";
ism[826] = "ism #1747: Senior Team (meeting) is scheduled in as a 2-hour slot tomorrow morning from 11.30am-1pm";
ism[827] = "ism #1748: Yorkshire and Humber SHA accused of grilling gender change patients";
ism[828] = "ism #1750: I saw you nodding your head no.";
ism[829] = "ism #1752: So we discovered at the 11th minute it was wrong.";
ism[830] = "ism #1754: Can you remember when Milk Floats used to be inflatable (electric ?)";
ism[831] = "ism #1755: I've got a lisp on my tongue.";
ism[832] = "ism #1756: I am going to go and buy one of those Basketball bats, and put it in the boot of my car.";
ism[833] = "ism #1757: Look at all of those blue clouds.";
ism[834] = "ism #1758: Can you remember the days when 40 fags wouldn't last between one of us. ";
ism[835] = "ism #1760: JC to AC: So how old are the twins? AC: I think they are 9 and 11. ";
ism[836] = "ism #1761: I'll tell you a quick question. ";
ism[837] = "ism #1762: You can still buy them brand new, the old ones. ";
ism[838] = "ism #1764: Bank holiday Monday, next Tuesday. ";
ism[839] = "ism #1765: My mam's sister used to be a Policeman. ";
ism[840] = "ism #1766: I think I have hurt one of my muscle ribs. ";
ism[841] = "ism #1767: They are currently on their 3 week Christmas shut down. (it was the middle of August at the time of saying it)";
ism[842] = "ism #1768: The river normally runs with a little treacle ";
ism[843] = "ism #1769: He normally signs in the signing-out book. ";
ism[844] = "ism #1770: Did you see on the radio the other day..………";
ism[845] = "ism #1779: We're having a sudden influx of leavers";
ism[846] = "ism #1780: In words of one syllable, I was a total*$%^@&*  @@*&@$ disaster!";
ism[847] = "ism #1782: I've being doing all the dog work while he's just been sitting around!";
ism[848] = "ism #1785: You've got a one-track mind: beer, football and sex";
ism[849] = "ism #1789:  He had a six-week-year-old baby";
ism[850] = "ism #1790:  Leave without absence";
ism[851] = "ism #1792:  I told Mark he has got to get a longer dog for this lead";
ism[852] = "ism #1793:  What you get is what you see";
ism[853] = "ism #1794:  If it doesn't work, you can untake out the bolt";
ism[854] = "ism #1795:  Did you see the wind on the telly yesterday";
ism[855] = "ism #1796:  NS: What did that new bar used to be called? CB: It began with an 'S'; I think it was Coco Mo's";
ism[856] = "ism #1797:  I had tears coming down my eyes";
ism[857] = "ism #1798: South Tyneside Council has matched £3.8m from the Heritage Lottery Fund with £1.2m from its own resources. (not really a match then, is it?)";
ism[858] = "ism #1799: It was out of the flying pan and into the flyer";
ism[859] = "ism #1800: In Comprehensive Performance Assessment (CAA) …..";
ism[860] = "ism #1801: To book online ... Just enter your travel details and then look out for the discounted fares highlighted with a red asterix. (What Gaul!)";
ism[861] = "ism #1802: xxxxx reminds me of Clarence Clifford. The man who paints those plates.";
ism[862] = "ism #1806: 'So you're thinking of relocating back to Cumbria?  Have you lived there before?'";
ism[863] = "ism #1807: 'So you're Dutch. Are you phoning from Dutch now? Er…..… the Netherlands?'";
ism[864] = "ism #1808: You'd be stuck if you didn't have another pair of hands.";
ism[865] = "ism #1809: I walked down to the top";
ism[866] = "ism #1810: Stephen, it's a really bad 'number', can I ring you back.";
ism[867] = "ism #1811: It's the film where Eddie Murphy plays all the characters in it, he is the 'hair barber' in it.";
ism[868] = "ism #1812: DJC: Remember when I said Humbleburt Humplebink? NRS: No, you said, Humbleburt Dinklebink. DJC: I thought I said it wrong.";
ism[869] = "ism #1814: NS: Dave, I bet you don't know where Stan Laurel is from. DJC: No, I don't, but I do know Clint Eastwood is his father.";
ism[870] = "ism #1815: In 'a' word, I don't know";
ism[871] = "ism #1816: Did you see that match last night, Man U City";
ism[872] = "ism #1817: What's wrong with voice-over man today, he sounds different than he did tomorrow.";
ism[873] = "ism #1818: Just before I wake up when I go to bed.";
ism[874] = "ism #1819: It's hit the top of the tree now, with regards to the fan.";
ism[875] = "ism #1820: Written message to health care provider: Q: 'I cannot log in to the website.' Response: 'We will advise you via email.'";
ism[876] = "ism #1821: I was a lot older than you are when I was your age.";
ism[877] = "ism #1822: He had a head-on crash right up the back of the car in front";
ism[878] = "ism #1824: I've just seen a multi-storey pile up";
ism[879] = "ism #1826: I'm absolutely positively certain - but I might be wrong?";
ism[880] = "ism #1827: Most people are below average intelligence level";
ism[881] = "ism #1828: He's got a solar-powered torch for pot-holing";
ism[882] = "ism #1829: I want to talk to the organist, not the monkey grinder";
ism[883] = "ism #1830: Overheard in MacDonalds: 'Wimpy and fries please'";
ism[884] = "ism #1833: I can think of a name for him! It starts with four letters!";
ism[885] = "ism #1836: I've just got two words to say to you: Get out of my office, now!";
ism[886] = "ism #1839: How do you say, 12pm in the morning";
ism[887] = "ism #1840: I'll have something vegitarian, not that I'm a veggie, I'll have a salad sandwich with ham in it.";
ism[888] = "ism #1841: My brother is the same, he has got a full 'set' of hair";
ism[889] = "ism #1843: Darren is just taking somebody to the Passport.";
ism[890] = "ism #1844: Talking about song on the radio: MH It was in the sixties, when were you born ?, NS 1969, MH Well you would have been 9 years old then.";
ism[891] = "ism #1845: It's cold but it's warm.";
ism[892] = "ism #1846: I am sure it's that colour, but I am not 199% sure.";
ism[893] = "ism #1847: The breakfast is the most important breakfast of the day.";
ism[894] = "ism #1848: She said to drink plenty of crisps";
ism[895] = "ism #1849: I need to get some short shirt sleeves";
ism[896] = "ism #1850: We met on the phone the other day";
ism[897] = "ism #1851: I've got a cat in my throat";
ism[898] = "ism #1852: What is your ETA, expected time of getting here.";
ism[899] = "ism #1853: Look at them two, they are like a couple of double acts.";
auth[0] = "";
auth[1] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[2] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[3] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[4] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[5] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[6] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[7] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[8] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[9] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[10] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[11] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[12] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[13] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[14] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[15] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[16] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[17] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[18] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[19] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[20] = " Ian Bowley";
auth[21] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[22] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[23] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[24] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[25] = " Geoff Martin";
auth[26] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[27] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[28] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[29] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[30] = " Martin Carrell";
auth[31] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[32] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[33] = " Sheila Pottinger";
auth[34] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[35] = " Frank Johnson";
auth[36] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[37] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[38] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[39] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[40] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[41] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[42] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[43] = " Anne Martin";
auth[44] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[45] = " Ian Bowley";
auth[46] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[47] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[48] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[49] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[50] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[51] = " O&M Report";
auth[52] = " O&M Report";
auth[53] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[54] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[55] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[56] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[57] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[58] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[59] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[60] = " Karen Lloyd's mother";
auth[61] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[62] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[63] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[64] = " Sylvia Pottinger";
auth[65] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[66] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[67] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[68] = " Syd Waddell";
auth[69] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[70] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[71] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[72] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[73] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[74] = " Bob Evans";
auth[75] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[76] = " Bob Evans";
auth[77] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[78] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[79] = " Ian East";
auth[80] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[81] = " Russ Pottinger";
auth[82] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[83] = " College Lecturer";
auth[84] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[85] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[86] = " Jim Brownlow";
auth[87] = " Ray Harrison";
auth[88] = " John Bainbridge";
auth[89] = " Brian Mackley";
auth[90] = " Radio 3 announcer";
auth[91] = " Chief Executive's secretary";
auth[92] = " Local Government Officer";
auth[93] = " Radio 2 phone-in";
auth[94] = " Sue Forster";
auth[95] = " City Hospitals Sunderland";
auth[96] = " Harry Wilkinson";
auth[97] = " Jefferson Research Report for CHS";
auth[98] = " Paul Burdon";
auth[99] = " Lennie";
auth[100] = " Radio 5 announcer Danny Baker";
auth[101] = " Dr Abella";
auth[102] = " Jim Belford";
auth[103] = " Jim Belford";
auth[104] = " John Griffiths";
auth[105] = " Ray Morris";
auth[106] = " Radio Cleveland";
auth[107] = " Radio 2 interviewee";
auth[108] = " Brian Johnson";
auth[109] = " Russ Pottinger";
auth[110] = " Dental Technician STHCT";
auth[111] = " Russ Pottinger";
auth[112] = " Radio 2 News";
auth[113] = " Jacqui Bilcliffe";
auth[114] = " Police Officer";
auth[115] = " Anon (from Jim Belford)";
auth[116] = " NHS Trust Officer";
auth[117] = " Paul Finch";
auth[118] = " Chief Executive";
auth[119] = " Andrea Castling (report section heading)";
auth[120] = " Gary Worrell";
auth[121] = " Local Government Officer";
auth[122] = " John Griffiths";
auth[123] = " Ian Loudon's wife";
auth[124] = " Paul Burdon";
auth[125] = " Angry parent";
auth[126] = " Radio Newcastle News";
auth[127] = " Radio 2 interviewee";
auth[128] = " Anon (from Jim Belford)";
auth[129] = " Medical secretary";
auth[130] = " Radio 2 News";
auth[131] = " A&E consultant";
auth[132] = " Chris Tatham";
auth[133] = " Radio 2 interviewee";
auth[134] = " Russ Pottinger";
auth[135] = " Sunday Express quiz answer";
auth[136] = " Medical staffing officer (from North Durham)";
auth[137] = " Howard Scott";
auth[138] = " Gillian Forsyth";
auth[139] = " Metro Radio Sports Commentator";
auth[140] = " TTTV Interviewee";
auth[141] = " Trust Chairman";
auth[142] = " Hospital Engineer";
auth[143] = " Bill Consitt ";
auth[144] = " Bill Consitt ";
auth[145] = " Mike Richards";
auth[146] = " BBC2 TV News";
auth[147] = " Lynne Snowball";
auth[148] = " Andrew Christer";
auth[149] = " Classic FM radio announcer";
auth[150] = " Bill Consitt ";
auth[151] = " Anon (from Jim Belford)";
auth[152] = " Grace (from Ste Pittey)";
auth[153] = " NHS Trust Officer";
auth[154] = " NHS Trust Officer";
auth[155] = " Bill Consitt ";
auth[156] = " Bill Consitt ";
auth[157] = " Bill Consitt ";
auth[158] = " Diane Gallacher";
auth[159] = " BBC1 TV pundit Alan Hanson";
auth[160] = " Russ Pottinger";
auth[161] = " Kelly Petroff";
auth[162] = " Kelly Petroff";
auth[163] = " Bill Consitt ";
auth[164] = " Bill Consitt ";
auth[165] = " Will Blandamer policy document";
auth[166] = " Ian Bowley";
auth[167] = " Anon (courtesy of Chris Ball (USA))";
auth[168] = " Ian Bowley's daughter";
auth[169] = " Anon (from Susan Messer)";
auth[170] = " Anon (from Susan Messer)";
auth[171] = " Anon (from Susan Messer)";
auth[172] = " Anon (from Susan Messer)";
auth[173] = " Anon (from Susan Messer)";
auth[174] = " Lady selling her house on BBC 2 TV";
auth[175] = " Lady on phone at Kings Cross train station";
auth[176] = " Susan Messer's sister";
auth[177] = " Susan Messer's friend";
auth[178] = " TV newscaster";
auth[179] = " Co-worker of Susan Messer";
auth[180] = " Co-worker of Susan Messer";
auth[181] = " Friend of Susan Messer";
auth[182] = " Co-worker of Susan Messer";
auth[183] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[184] = " Anon (from George Gemmel)";
auth[185] = " Williamsport Sun Gazette (from Don)";
auth[186] = " Gill Cox";
auth[187] = " Lancashire County Council";
auth[188] = " Friend of Susan Messer";
auth[189] = " Wesley Snipes in 'Drop Zone'";
auth[190] = " Ray Morris";
auth[191] = " Matty (from Jim Denniston)";
auth[192] = " Matty (from Jim Denniston)";
auth[193] = " Matty (from Jim Denniston)";
auth[194] = " Jim Woods";
auth[195] = " Graham Worthington";
auth[196] = " Woman on bus (from Marie Johnson)";
auth[197] = " Liz Ridge";
auth[198] = " Ronnie Moreland";
auth[199] = " Anon (from Barry Mcneill)";
auth[200] = " Anon (from Barry Mcneill)";
auth[201] = " Sonia Filmer (from Mark Tristem)";
auth[202] = " Anon (from Adrian Shandley)";
auth[203] = " Anon (from Adrian Shandley)";
auth[204] = " Anon (from Adrian Shandley)";
auth[205] = " Anon (from Adrian Shandley)";
auth[206] = " Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[207] = " Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[208] = " Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[209] = " Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[210] = " Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[211] = " Roger (from Graham Mayor)";
auth[212] = " Roger (from Graham Mayor)";
auth[213] = " Tony Hall's neighbour";
auth[214] = " Howard Linden ";
auth[215] = " Eric Cheetham ";
auth[216] = " Eric Cheetham ";
auth[217] = " Anon (from G Murrell)";
auth[218] = " Anon (from Ed Jenkins)";
auth[219] = " Anon (from Ed Jenkins)";
auth[220] = " Anon (from Dom Gittins)";
auth[221] = " Anon (from Dave Laine)";
auth[222] = " AA Road sign (from Robert Lane)";
auth[223] = " Colin Battson's wife";
auth[224] = " Anon (from Peter Wood)";
auth[225] = " Peter Morgan's wife";
auth[226] = " Peter Morgan's wife";
auth[227] = " Peter Morgan's wife";
auth[228] = " Anon (from Steve Taylor)";
auth[229] = " Graham Worthington";
auth[230] = " Graham Worthington";
auth[231] = " Anon (from Claire Eccles)";
auth[232] = " Anon (from Claire Eccles)";
auth[233] = " Anon (from Suzanne & Tim)";
auth[234] = " Karen's mother-in-law";
auth[235] = " Steve Heron";
auth[236] = " Anon (from David Morgan)";
auth[237] = " Fay Martin's boyfriend";
auth[238] = " Anon";
auth[239] = " Anon (from Steve Parker)";
auth[240] = " Anon (from Tom Shopland)";
auth[241] = " James Pickett";
auth[242] = " Anon (from Peter Wood)";
auth[243] = " Sara rees";
auth[244] = " BBC news item";
auth[245] = " MKjobs website (from David Wilson)";
auth[246] = " Anon (from Laurie Hawkes)";
auth[247] = " Anon (from Laurie Hawkes)";
auth[248] = " Nichola Fairless";
auth[249] = " Tim";
auth[250] = " Tim";
auth[251] = " Tim";
auth[252] = " Tim";
auth[253] = " Tim";
auth[254] = " Tim";
auth[255] = " Tim";
auth[256] = " Tim";
auth[257] = " Tim";
auth[258] = " Tim";
auth[259] = " Tim";
auth[260] = " Anon (from Peter Wood)";
auth[261] = " Tim";
auth[262] = " Government spokeswoman ";
auth[263] = " Donna Smith";
auth[264] = " Anon (from Rachel Deane)";
auth[265] = " Dolly";
auth[266] = " Dolly";
auth[267] = " Dolly";
auth[268] = " Dolly";
auth[269] = " Dolly";
auth[270] = " Anon (from Sheila Hull)";
auth[271] = " Mike Frain";
auth[272] = " John McEnroe on the women's singles final";
auth[273] = " Peers Mclintock";
auth[274] = " David Bowley's Girlfriend";
auth[275] = " Radio 4 interviewee";
auth[276] = " Ian Munro";
auth[277] = " Club chairman (from Roger Vearncombe)";
auth[278] = " Green Party spokesman (from Roger Vearncombe)";
auth[279] = " George";
auth[280] = " Lauren Bowley";
auth[281] = " Mike Frain's daughter";
auth[282] = " Airline pilot (from Roger Vearncombe)";
auth[283] = " Duncan Bryant'd wife";
auth[284] = " Alban Arena Film listing (from David Thalenberg)";
auth[285] = " Trevor Francis";
auth[286] = " South Wales Echo (from Peter Mabey)";
auth[287] = " Andrew Allen ";
auth[288] = " Radio traffic news (from Chris McCarthy)";
auth[289] = " Claire Myfanwy's grandfather";
auth[290] = " Kyle Thompson's g-g-grandmother";
auth[291] = " Kyle Thompson's g-g-grandmother";
auth[292] = " Christine Spence's MD";
auth[293] = " Emma Birks";
auth[294] = " Adrian Ogden";
auth[295] = " Anon (from Dave Gooding)";
auth[296] = " Anon (from Dave Gooding)";
auth[297] = " Anon (from Chris Giggs)";
auth[298] = " Anon (from Ashley Paddon)";
auth[299] = " George";
auth[300] = " George";
auth[301] = " Anon (from Ian Vaughan)";
auth[302] = " Tim";
auth[303] = " Anon (from Geoff Foster)";
auth[304] = " Ronnie";
auth[305] = " Anon (from Ashley Paddon)";
auth[306] = " Anon (from A Pedant)";
auth[307] = " Anon (from The Donovan Family)";
auth[308] = " Anon (from The Donovan Family)";
auth[309] = " David Prestwich";
auth[310] = " Anon teacher (from John Amos)";
auth[311] = " Anon teacher (from John Amos)";
auth[312] = " Anon teacher (from John Amos)";
auth[313] = " Anon teacher (from John Amos)";
auth[314] = " Anon teacher (from John Amos)";
auth[315] = " Anon teacher (from John Amos)";
auth[316] = " Anon teacher (from John Amos)";
auth[317] = " Anon teacher (from John Amos)";
auth[318] = " Anon teacher (from John Amos)";
auth[319] = " Anon teacher (from John Amos)";
auth[320] = " Simon (from Sherry Smith)";
auth[321] = " Anon(from Melanie Eccles)";
auth[322] = " Anon (from Graham Gold)";
auth[323] = " Anon (from Graham Gold)";
auth[324] = " Steve McLaren (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[325] = " Anon (from Derek Marples)";
auth[326] = " Tim";
auth[327] = " Adrian Roll";
auth[328] = " David Bowley's girlfriend";
auth[329] = " Mark Rose";
auth[330] = " Detective at a case review (from Philip Hickey";
auth[331] = " Princes William & Harry (from Paul Weavers)";
auth[332] = " Tim";
auth[333] = " Anon (from Jim Slater)";
auth[334] = " Anon (from Jim Slater)";
auth[335] = " Anon (from Chas Berry)";
auth[336] = " Lis Christie";
auth[337] = " Mick Mitchell";
auth[338] = " Fievel";
auth[339] = " Anon (from Andy)";
auth[340] = " Tracey Halsall";
auth[341] = " Fievel";
auth[342] = " Anon Police Constable";
auth[343] = " Anon Police Constable";
auth[344] = " Anon Police Constable";
auth[345] = " Anon Police Constable";
auth[346] = " Anon Police Constable";
auth[347] = " Anon Police Constable";
auth[348] = " Anon Police Constable";
auth[349] = " Anon Police Constable";
auth[350] = " Anon (from Dean Stocks)";
auth[351] = " Fievel";
auth[352] = " Fievel";
auth[353] = " Fievel";
auth[354] = " Fievel";
auth[355] = " Fievel";
auth[356] = " Fievel";
auth[357] = " Radio Humberside (from Martin Ferris)";
auth[358] = " Caroline Brown";
auth[359] = " Anon cleaner (from Trevor Rutter)";
auth[360] = " TV snooker commentator (from David Ferris)";
auth[361] = " Anon (from Tom Witney)";
auth[362] = " News headline on GMTV (24/3/04)";
auth[363] = " Friend of Martin Ferris";
auth[364] = " Mary Bailey's father";
auth[365] = " Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[366] = " Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[367] = " Anon soccer commentator (from Iain Harris)";
auth[368] = " Anon soccer commentator (from Iain Harris)";
auth[369] = " Will Greenwood, Harlequins RUFC";
auth[370] = " Distraught mother during Australian TV interview (from Phil McNab)";
auth[371] = " Sylvia Pottinger";
auth[372] = " Anon (from Chris & Kerry Ellicot)";
auth[373] = " TV Soccer commentator (from James Spearing)";
auth[374] = " Sarah Kennedy, BBC Radio 2 presenter, on safari (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[375] = " Cate Lamb";
auth[376] = " Pupil's exclamation on seeing a tank full of snails (from Mark Langford)";
auth[377] = " Andrew Marr, BBC Political Editor (from Jack Spearing)";
auth[378] = " Colin Cooper, Middlesbrough FC player (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[379] = " from Toni Gillan";
auth[380] = " David Morgan";
auth[381] = " David Morgan's flatmate";
auth[382] = " Sign in shop window (from Kim Barclay)";
auth[383] = " Anon (from Sandy McGivern)";
auth[384] = " Anon (from Sandy McGivern)";
auth[385] = " Olympic Gymnast, Paul Hamm (from Peter Wood)";
auth[386] = " from Patrick Potts";
auth[387] = " from Toni Gillan";
auth[388] = " Anon (from Bruce Holt)";
auth[389] = " Anon (from David Morgan)";
auth[390] = " Hil, a friend of Ruth Bennie";
auth[391] = " Shop sign, September 2004 (from Russ Pottinger)";
auth[392] = " Joe Kinnear, soccer manager";
auth[393] = " Fievel";
auth[394] = " Fievel";
auth[395] = " Fievel";
auth[396] = " Fievel";
auth[397] = " Fievel";
auth[398] = " Fievel";
auth[399] = " Fievel";
auth[400] = " Fievel";
auth[401] = " Fievel";
auth[402] = " Fievel";
auth[403] = " Fievel";
auth[404] = " Fievel";
auth[405] = " Fievel";
auth[406] = " Emma from Big Brother (from Bob McDermott)";
auth[407] = " from David Morgan";
auth[408] = " from David Morgan";
auth[409] = " Nev";
auth[410] = " Nev";
auth[411] = " Nev";
auth[412] = " Nev";
auth[413] = " Nev";
auth[414] = " Nev";
auth[415] = " Nev";
auth[416] = " Nev";
auth[417] = " Nev";
auth[418] = " from David Morgan";
auth[419] = " Science forum poster, from David Morgan";
auth[420] = " Football commentator Gordon Sparkes, from Lee Braddon";
auth[421] = " Roger Hall's mother";
auth[422] = " Roger Hall's mother";
auth[423] = " Tim";
auth[424] = " Fievel";
auth[425] = " Fievel";
auth[426] = " Fievel";
auth[427] = " Fievel";
auth[428] = " Fievel";
auth[429] = " Fievel";
auth[430] = " Fievel";
auth[431] = " Joyce Parkin";
auth[432] = " Gordon Sparkes (BBC Radio Devon soccer commentator)";
auth[433] = " Gordon Sparkes (BBC Radio Devon soccer commentator)";
auth[434] = " Harry Baker (from John Patrick)";
auth[435] = " Anon senior director (from John Patrick)";
auth[436] = " Martin Green";
auth[437] = " Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[438] = " Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[439] = " Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[440] = " Confused fisherman (from Graeme Thomas)";
auth[441] = " Fievel";
auth[442] = " Fievel";
auth[443] = " Fievel";
auth[444] = " Fievel";
auth[445] = " Fievel";
auth[446] = " Fievel";
auth[447] = " Fievel";
auth[448] = " Russ Pottinger";
auth[449] = " Disappointed soccer fan";
auth[450] = " Dia-dull";
auth[451] = " Carol";
auth[452] = " Carmene Roy";
auth[453] = " Carmene Roy";
auth[454] = " Dom Tiberi";
auth[455] = " Jimmy Arnfield, BBC sports commentator";
auth[456] = " Anon (from Ken Fogel)";
auth[457] = " Anon (from Ken Fogel)";
auth[458] = " Anon (from Ken Fogel)";
auth[459] = " Anon (from Ken Fogel)";
auth[460] = " Anon (from Ken Fogel)";
auth[461] = " Anon (from Ken Fogel)";
auth[462] = " Anon (from Ken Fogel)";
auth[463] = " Michael Frain";
auth[464] = " Sarah (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[465] = " Anon (from Margaret Hautanen)";
auth[466] = " Anon (from Margaret Hautanen)";
auth[467] = " Anon (from Margaret Hautanen)";
auth[468] = " Anon (from Margaret Hautanen)";
auth[469] = " Anon (from Margaret Hautanen)";
auth[470] = " Anon (from Margaret Hautanen)";
auth[471] = " Anon (from Margaret Hautanen)";
auth[472] = " Anon (from Margaret Hautanen)";
auth[473] = " Anon (from Margaret Hautanen)";
auth[474] = " Anon (from Margaret Hautanen)";
auth[475] = " Ray Morris";
auth[476] = " Fievel";
auth[477] = " Fievel";
auth[478] = " Fievel";
auth[479] = " Fievel";
auth[480] = " Fievel";
auth[481] = " Fievel";
auth[482] = " Brenda";
auth[483] = " Brenda";
auth[484] = " Brenda";
auth[485] = " Brenda";
auth[486] = " Fievel";
auth[487] = " Joanne McDonough";
auth[488] = " Anon lecturer (from Luke)";
auth[489] = " Gerry Creechan";
auth[490] = " #1:Steve Arthur, #2:Tony Dyson";
auth[491] = " Robert Nestor";
auth[492] = " Celebrity on BBC TV 'Test the Nation - 20th Century Quiz' (from Nic Cleveland)";
auth[493] = " Staff memo (from Heather Francis)";
auth[494] = " Fievel";
auth[495] = " Fievel";
auth[496] = " Fievel";
auth[497] = " Fievel";
auth[498] = " Fievel";
auth[499] = " Fievel";
auth[500] = " Fievel";
auth[501] = " Fievel";
auth[502] = " Fievel";
auth[503] = " Fievel";
auth[504] = " Fievel";
auth[505] = " Fievel";
auth[506] = " Fievel";
auth[507] = " Fievel";
auth[508] = " Fievel";
auth[509] = " Fievel";
auth[510] = " Fievel";
auth[511] = " Fievel";
auth[512] = " Fievel";
auth[513] = " Fievel";
auth[514] = " Fievel";
auth[515] = " Fievel";
auth[516] = " Stephen Graham";
auth[517] = " BBC website (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[518] = " Tim";
auth[519] = " Anon (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[520] = " Anon (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[521] = " Iain Dowie of Crystal Palace FC (from Glenn Fairhall)";
auth[522] = " PCT email";
auth[523] = " Fievel";
auth[524] = " Fievel";
auth[525] = " Fievel";
auth[526] = " Fievel";
auth[527] = " Fievel";
auth[528] = " Fievel";
auth[529] = " Fievel";
auth[530] = " Fievel";
auth[531] = " Fievel";
auth[532] = " Fievel";
auth[533] = " Fievel";
auth[534] = " Fievel";
auth[535] = " Fievel";
auth[536] = " Fievel";
auth[537] = " Fievel";
auth[538] = " Fievel";
auth[539] = " Fievel";
auth[540] = " Fievel";
auth[541] = " Fievel";
auth[542] = " Fievel";
auth[543] = " Fievel";
auth[544] = " Marco Le Chambre";
auth[545] = " Robin Knibb";
auth[546] = " Anon (Michael Frain)";
auth[547] = " John Vercoe";
auth[548] = " John Vercoe";
auth[549] = " Store manager";
auth[550] = " James Munden (from Glenn Fairhall)";
auth[551] = " Neil Jordan";
auth[552] = " Anon (from James Munden)";
auth[553] = " Anon (from James Munden)";
auth[554] = " Anon (from James Munden)";
auth[555] = " East Yorkshire Motor Services website";
auth[556] = " Anon (from Tim Clarke)";
auth[557] = " na se oliver";
auth[558] = " Anon (from Neil Crowle)";
auth[559] = " Anon (from Neil Crowle)";
auth[560] = " Fievel";
auth[561] = " Fievel";
auth[562] = " Fievel";
auth[563] = " Fievel";
auth[564] = " Fievel";
auth[565] = " Fievel";
auth[566] = " Fievel";
auth[567] = " Fievel";
auth[568] = " Fievel";
auth[569] = " Fievel";
auth[570] = " Fievel";
auth[571] = " Fievel";
auth[572] = " Fievel";
auth[573] = " Fievel";
auth[574] = " Fievel";
auth[575] = " Fievel";
auth[576] = " Fievel";
auth[577] = " Fievel";
auth[578] = " Fievel";
auth[579] = " Fievel";
auth[580] = " Fievel";
auth[581] = " Fievel";
auth[582] = " Fievel";
auth[583] = " Fievel";
auth[584] = " Fievel";
auth[585] = " Marco Le Chambre";
auth[586] = " Julie Davis";
auth[587] = " Mrs Le Page";
auth[588] = " Marco Le Chambre";
auth[589] = " Robin Knibb";
auth[590] = " Fievel";
auth[591] = " Fievel";
auth[592] = " Fievel";
auth[593] = " Fievel";
auth[594] = " Fievel";
auth[595] = " Fievel";
auth[596] = " Fievel";
auth[597] = " Fievel";
auth[598] = " Fievel";
auth[599] = " Fievel";
auth[600] = " Fievel";
auth[601] = " Fievel";
auth[602] = " Fievel";
auth[603] = " Fievel";
auth[604] = " Fievel";
auth[605] = " Fievel";
auth[606] = " Fievel";
auth[607] = " Fievel";
auth[608] = " Fievel";
auth[609] = " BBC news correspondent";
auth[610] = " Gary Bennet (Sunderland AFC pundit)";
auth[611] = " Anon (from Erin Greenup)";
auth[612] = " Anon (from Erin Greenup)";
auth[613] = " Anon (from Erin Greenup)";
auth[614] = " Debra Canning";
auth[615] = " Debra Canning";
auth[616] = " Radio Humberside (from Martin Ferris)";
auth[617] = " Radio Humberside (from Martin Ferris)";
auth[618] = " John Inverdale (from Martin Ferris)";
auth[619] = " ASDA soup label (from Elaine Nicholson)";
auth[620] = " Joanne McDonough";
auth[621] = " Don Overall";
auth[622] = " Don Overall";
auth[623] = " Don Overall";
auth[624] = " Don Overall";
auth[625] = " Don Overall";
auth[626] = " Don Overall";
auth[627] = " Gill Gittins";
auth[628] = " Don Overall";
auth[629] = " Don Overall";
auth[630] = " Baz Cox";
auth[631] = " Baz Cox";
auth[632] = " Baz Cox";
auth[633] = " Jeff Carlton";
auth[634] = " Jeff Carlton";
auth[635] = " Don Overall";
auth[636] = " Don Overall";
auth[637] = " Anon (from Marion Talbot)";
auth[638] = " a friend of Baz Cox";
auth[639] = " Brian Hockley";
auth[640] = " Brian Hockley";
auth[641] = " Unknown Planner/Estimator";
auth[642] = " Hospital Director";
auth[643] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[644] = " The President of the ISMS";
auth[645] = " Anon (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[646] = " Fievel";
auth[647] = " Fievel";
auth[648] = " Fievel";
auth[649] = " Fievel";
auth[650] = " Fievel";
auth[651] = " Fievel";
auth[652] = " Fievel";
auth[653] = " Fievel";
auth[654] = " Fievel";
auth[655] = " Fievel";
auth[656] = " Fievel";
auth[657] = " Fievel";
auth[658] = " Fievel";
auth[659] = " Fievel";
auth[660] = " Fievel";
auth[661] = " Fievel";
auth[662] = " Fievel";
auth[663] = " Fievel";
auth[664] = " Fievel";
auth[665] = " Fievel";
auth[666] = " Fievel";
auth[667] = " Bob Bobbins";
auth[668] = " Dogger Davis";
auth[669] = " Marco Le Chambre";
auth[670] = " Radio Newcastle sports reporter";
auth[671] = " National Express East Coast";
auth[672] = " Brian Spears";
auth[673] = " Debra Canning";
auth[674] = " from Russ Pottinger (keen to ask them 'is there anything I need?')";
auth[675] = " octogenarian ex-manager Bobbie Robson";
auth[676] = " Don Overall";
auth[677] = " Live Divine' Black Dyke brass band album cover";
auth[678] = " Keith Terret";
auth[679] = " Sarah Kennedy BBC Radio2";
auth[680] = " Radio Humberside (from Martin Ferris)";
auth[681] = " Restaurant owner on Ramsey's kitchen nightmares";
auth[682] = " KF ";
auth[683] = " KF ";
auth[684] = " KF ";
auth[685] = " KF ";
auth[686] = " KF ";
auth[687] = " KF ";
auth[688] = " KF ";
auth[689] = " KF ";
auth[690] = " KF ";
auth[691] = " KF ";
auth[692] = " KF ";
auth[693] = " KF ";
auth[694] = " KF ";
auth[695] = " KF ";
auth[696] = " KF ";
auth[697] = " MH ";
auth[698] = " KF ";
auth[699] = " Anon ";
auth[700] = " MH ";
auth[701] = " BF ";
auth[702] = " JW ";
auth[703] = " KF ";
auth[704] = " KF ";
auth[705] = " BA ";
auth[706] = " KF ";
auth[707] = " KF ";
auth[708] = " BA ";
auth[709] = " PB ";
auth[710] = " Anon ";
auth[711] = " BR ";
auth[712] = " KF ";
auth[713] = " DS ";
auth[714] = " KF ";
auth[715] = " KF ";
auth[716] = " KF ";
auth[717] = " KF ";
auth[718] = " NS ";
auth[719] = " MH ";
auth[720] = " NS ";
auth[721] = " MH ";
auth[722] = " JB ";
auth[723] = " KF ";
auth[724] = " KF ";
auth[725] = " KF ";
auth[726] = " KF ";
auth[727] = " MH ";
auth[728] = " KF ";
auth[729] = " NS ";
auth[730] = " JB ";
auth[731] = " KF ";
auth[732] = " KF ";
auth[733] = " SL ";
auth[734] = " KF ";
auth[735] = " MH ";
auth[736] = " NS ";
auth[737] = " AT ";
auth[738] = " MH ";
auth[739] = " KF ";
auth[740] = " MB ";
auth[741] = " PB ";
auth[742] = " CB ";
auth[743] = " KF ";
auth[744] = " NS ";
auth[745] = " MH ";
auth[746] = " KF ";
auth[747] = " MB ";
auth[748] = " KF ";
auth[749] = " AC ";
auth[750] = " CB ";
auth[751] = " AC ";
auth[752] = " KF ";
auth[753] = " BA ";
auth[754] = " AC ";
auth[755] = " KF ";
auth[756] = " AC ";
auth[757] = " NS ";
auth[758] = " KF ";
auth[759] = " AC ";
auth[760] = " MH ";
auth[761] = " AC ";
auth[762] = " JE ";
auth[763] = " CB ";
auth[764] = " ML ";
auth[765] = " KF ";
auth[766] = " AMC ";
auth[767] = " MH ";
auth[768] = " ML ";
auth[769] = " LT (Dave's girlfriend) ";
auth[770] = " KF ";
auth[771] = " DJC ";
auth[772] = " JB ";
auth[773] = " MH ";
auth[774] = " Fievel";
auth[775] = " Fievel";
auth[776] = " Fievel";
auth[777] = " Fievel";
auth[778] = " Fievel";
auth[779] = " Fievel";
auth[780] = " Fievel";
auth[781] = " Mrs Le Page";
auth[782] = " Benny Jackson";
auth[783] = " Gary Whiteman";
auth[784] = " Barry Smith";
auth[785] = " Johnny Johnson";
auth[786] = " Steven Tosney";
auth[787] = " DJC ";
auth[788] = " KF ";
auth[789] = " DJC ";
auth[790] = " DJC ";
auth[791] = " BBC Radio 2 News";
auth[792] = " DJC ";
auth[793] = " PH ";
auth[794] = " DJC ";
auth[795] = " KF ";
auth[796] = " MH ";
auth[797] = " Ste Pittey";
auth[798] = " Anon (from Vivek Arjunwadkar)";
auth[799] = " PB ";
auth[800] = " DJC ";
auth[801] = " BA ";
auth[802] = " DC ";
auth[803] = " DC ";
auth[804] = " MH ";
auth[805] = " USA President G W Bush (now ex-president)";
auth[806] = " USA President G W Bush (now ex-president)";
auth[807] = " USA President G W Bush (now ex-president)";
auth[808] = " NICE e-newsletter (from Martin Ferris)";
auth[809] = " KF ";
auth[810] = " PH ";
auth[811] = " NS ";
auth[812] = " CB ";
auth[813] = " DJC ";
auth[814] = " DJC ";
auth[815] = " question from a national audit of hospital care in the UK (from Martin Ferris)";
auth[816] = " NS ";
auth[817] = " DJC ";
auth[818] = " CH ";
auth[819] = " Anon ";
auth[820] = " MH ";
auth[821] = " Local government officer";
auth[822] = " MH ";
auth[823] = " MH ";
auth[824] = " GH ";
auth[825] = " DC ";
auth[826] = " Rebecca Oliver";
auth[827] = " Health Service Journal (4 June - from Martin Ferris)";
auth[828] = " DJC ";
auth[829] = " KF ";
auth[830] = " DJC ";
auth[831] = " DJC ";
auth[832] = " SC ";
auth[833] = " DFS ";
auth[834] = " Moppy";
auth[835] = " AC ";
auth[836] = " VM ";
auth[837] = " DJC";
auth[838] = " AMC";
auth[839] = " DFS";
auth[840] = " CB ";
auth[841] = " NS ";
auth[842] = " DC ";
auth[843] = " KF ";
auth[844] = " Val";
auth[845] = " Rose Sprugitt";
auth[846] = " Preston Tug";
auth[847] = " Don Overall";
auth[848] = " Don Overall";
auth[849] = " DJC";
auth[850] = " MH ";
auth[851] = " Lisa ";
auth[852] = " VM ";
auth[853] = " KF ";
auth[854] = " AC ";
auth[855] = " CB ";
auth[856] = " DJC ";
auth[857] = " Shields Gazette";
auth[858] = " Don Overall";
auth[859] = " Ben Page in Municipal Journal 17/12/09";
auth[860] = " East Coast Trains (from Martin Ferris)";
auth[861] = " Debra Canning";
auth[862] = " Steve Wright (BBC Radio 2)";
auth[863] = " Jeremy Vine (BBC Radio 2)";
auth[864] = " KF ";
auth[865] = " DC ";
auth[866] = " DC ";
auth[867] = " DJC ";
auth[868] = " DJC ";
auth[869] = " DJC ";
auth[870] = " MH ";
auth[871] = " DJC ";
auth[872] = " Mrs Ben (Real Radio) ";
auth[873] = " DJC ";
auth[874] = " KF ";
auth[875] = " Bob Macchia";
auth[876] = " Dan Booth";
auth[877] = " Don Overall";
auth[878] = " Don Overall";
auth[879] = " Don Overall";
auth[880] = " Arfa Mo";
auth[881] = " Arfa Mo";
auth[882] = " Don Overall";
auth[883] = " Arfa Mo";
auth[884] = " Don Overall";
auth[885] = " Don Overall";
auth[886] = " AC ";
auth[887] = " KF ";
auth[888] = " DJC ";
auth[889] = " MH ";
auth[890] = " MH ";
auth[891] = " AC ";
auth[892] = " KM ";
auth[893] = " DC ";
auth[894] = " MH ";
auth[895] = " DJC ";
auth[896] = " Jeremy Vine ";
auth[897] = " Nancy ";
auth[898] = " Nancy ";
auth[899] = " Sweat Sock ";

// ISMS data goes above here. Do not change, overwrite or mess with the program below this line
quoteShowing=0;
function nextQuote()
{
  // restart at 0 if done
  if (quoteShowing >= quotes) quoteShowing=-1;
  quoteShowing++;
  // assign the value in the textbox to the new quote
document.quoteForm.quoteHere.value = quoteShowing + " of "+ quotes + "\n\n" +ism[quoteShowing] + "\n\n" + "source: " + auth[quoteShowing];
}
function prevQuote()
{
  // restart at end if on 0
  if (quoteShowing <= 0) quoteShowing=quotes+1;
  quoteShowing--;
  document.quoteForm.quoteHere.value = quoteShowing + " of "+ quotes + "\n\n" +ism[quoteShowing] + "\n\n" + "source: " + auth[quoteShowing];
}
function randQuote()
{ 
  // Make sure you don't show the same quote twice in a row
  prevQuoteShowing = quoteShowing;
  while(quoteShowing == prevQuoteShowing)
    quoteShowing = Math.ceil(Math.random() *quotes);
  document.quoteForm.quoteHere.value =  "\n\n" + ism[quoteShowing] + "\n\n" + "source: " + auth[quoteShowing];
}

function lastQuote()
{
  quoteShowing = quotes;
  document.quoteForm.quoteHere.value =  "\n\n" +ism[quotes] + "\n\n" + "source: " + auth[quotes];
}

window.onload=randQuote