Tips for writers
Having spent some time reading the History of the ISMS a number of potential members, ismologists and language students have written to us asking for guidance on how to write as good as what we do. So, here are some top tips from the ISMS Head of Spellin & Gramma:
- Prepositions are not the words to end sentences with.
- And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
- Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat!)
- Be more or less specific in your discussion.
- Words in parenthesis (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
- No sentence fragments.
- It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
- Also, always avoid annoying alliteration. I, myself, personally always do!
- Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
- Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
- Foreign words and phrases are not apropos unless everyone is au fait with them.
- Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
- Don't use no double negatives.
- Any certainly don't never use no triple negatives.
- Eliminate ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
- One-word sentences? Never!
- Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
- The passive voice should be ignored.
- Eliminate commas, that are, generally, unnecessary.
- Never use a long word when a diminutive one would suffice.
- You must remove unnecessary exclamation points!!!
- Understatement is absolutely the best way to put forward earth shattering ideas.
- Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
- Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
- As Winston Churchill always used to say, "Eliminate quotations. I hate quotations."
- If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
- Proofread carefully to see if you have any words out.
- Also, make shore ewe run the text threw the chequer.
- Even if you like mixed metaphors, that's not the name of the ball you're in.
- Who needs rhetorical questions?
Hope this helps. Any further guidance to add? email us! See also our ISMS Library of essential reading for isms professionals.
